So I’m finally back to updating Tumblr again. Felt the urge to do this time and time again. But the problem I was just so depressed over everything that was happening around me. I felt so hated by the people around me, I felt as if Project Work was going to lead to my demise, I felt as if I was messing up the balance of my CCA, as if I was never meant to do any of this. I felt as if all of the world was against me. And then on Friday, I got my Chem results back. Worst fail grade of my entire life. And that did it for me, I just broke down. Not because I couldn’t accept that I got such a low grade. Trust me, I have no ego whatsoever to be bruised. (In fact, if you wish to instruct me as to where and how I may obtain one, I will be most genuinely grateful to you..) I just felt as if I was trying so hard and giving my best in every single thing that I was doing. Yet nothing was working for me. Nothing. It was as if disaster, after disaster was waiting to happen and anything that my hand touched, or I put my heart to achieving was beyond my reach.
But what I never realized was that all this time, while I fretted about one or two negative people who were causing me to feel this way, I was completely oblivious and ignorant to some very beautiful people who surround me, every day of my life. Sometimes you look around, and all you ever see is the people that you hate and the things that make you upset. But if you look again, there will be at least one person in your life, at any one point in time, who will be constantly telling you “It’s okay, don’t give up. Keep fighting on”. There will be someone who will share in your happiness and your sorrows, someone who will advice when you need someone to turn to and someone to share a laugh or tears with when life just gets a tad too tough. I mean, what are we without another person in our lives?
And just how blessed are you when you don’t have just one person, but so many wonderful people who are willing to catch you when you fall?..
All this while, here I was, I was completely oblivious to the some of the most beautiful blessings in my life. My amazing classmates and parents. <3 I was busy being depressed and frustrated over the most trivial things. About how I couldn’t get anything right, about how I couldn’t get the approval of some people.
I just feel so thankful for my awesome friends and classmates. I honestly don’t think I’ve ever been surrounded by a group of people who are so genuinely kind and thoughtful, and so willing to painstakingly help me whatever I face. I might not be getting stellar grades right now, but I Thank God for the day I decided to take BCML or I never would have gotten a chance to meet these wonderful people. I think, if not anything else, the toughest of times make you realise who your true friends really are :) Thank God for people like Brandon, Emily, Simone, Jazzy, Ave, Hilary, Bernard, Tian Cheng, Geraldine, Marie, Jo.. The list just goes on and on.. There are so many people that genuinely care enough to just ask if I’m okay. I feel so blessed and moved by their thoughtfulness and kindness :) The most magical thing of all was how everything fixed itself within less 24 hours that I decided to just let go and stop worrying about every minute detail. J2 Farewell is less than 24 hours away and I can’t wait to give my amazing seniors, like Brandon said, the best farewell they’ve never expected ^^ I have no idea how it happened. But every problem in this world that is created by man, has its solution that every one of us is capable of executing. All you gotta do is have a little faith sometimes.
With my friends around and in God’s grace, what do I have to be afraid of or feel insecure for? CCA, Politics, CTs, Promos, Whatever. BRING IT ON! :)
Being happy doesn’t mean that life is perfect, it just means that you choose to look beyond the imperfections. And besides, I don’t need to change myself just so someone else will appreciate me. I don’t need your stamp of approval. I am what I am, and nothing can or will change me.
So here we are, my first official Tumblr post. This one’s to some of the most beautiful people the earth has ever seen, This one’s for you 12SO3K. Thank you for being the reason I wake up each morning <3