There's nothing between you and your dreams...♥

I HAVE MOVED TO TUMBLR

2011-09-07T16:00:00.000+08:00

Just saying :)

Let's just say, Fangirling.

2011-09-05T22:47:00.000+08:00

“Mr Toh covers My Baby You by Marc Anthony. I know this isn’t the most politically correct thing to do (and I’ll probably get killed if he finds out), but the world needs to see this. If not anything else, at least listen to 3.42. That. One. Note. Ohmygosh. I love his voice!! Most amazing teacher ever. AHH MR TOH FANGIRL FOR LIFE I SWEAR :D”

That made my day :) Seeing the amazing talent of people I love around me, always makes my day <3 So much for talking about a lack of fanclub for eight months xD Well, if that's the case we had Meet and Greet passes on Teachers’ Day then :))

They fail to capture you, as mere words can only do

2011-09-02T16:45:00.000+08:00

I’ve been really really wanting to do this for the longest time, ever since I got home from Teachers’ Day at RG. But I wasn’t feeling well, plus all the mugging and I didn’t get the time. I’m not even supposed to be doing this right now. But I need to. So here goes.

Visiting RG on Thursday, was.. indescribably amazing. And I mean that. It was a beautiful close to the term, one that had been filled with so much unnecessary stress, worries, disappointment, pressure, failure, fear of failing, and yet a spark of hope interspersed amongst the madness that is JC life. After the pretty awesome TD concert at RJ, we ran around for awhile trying desperately to find our tutors. And the subsequent hyper-ing, spamming flowers for the teachers, talking about the good ol’ times with EmKoh, Gio and Jazzy (and Brandon xD) was just so nostalgic. It was just a warm flood of emotions, just enough before going down to RGS physically. And when we finally reached the gates, I felt as if I had never left. I genuinely did. There were all the house-tee clad students, streaming out of the school gate in a myriad of pretty colours, a few familiar faces here and there. When we walked through the foyer, a million memories came rushing through my mind. Of sleeping in the foyer curled up in the seats, of performance after performance in the KS Chee, of waiting for people seated on those very benches. This was the walkway that I had passed every single morning, for the past 4 years of my life. Suddenly, the smallest things just had so much meaning. It’s that feeling of heightened emotions, of sentiments, of nostalgia. Something that you’d only experience a few times in your life. You don’t get that every day. But when you do, it’s just so extra special.

The walkway to Anderson was swarming with JC Students. It was really a sea of green and white, with the occasional RG junior. Truthfully, it was all too familiar but there was this sudden sense of awkwardness, of distance, of restraint. These were my teachers, people who I’d seen almost every day for two whole years, some even more. People who meant so much to me and I’d spent till 3am the previous night pouring my heart out on greeting cards, that were so cheesy. I hadn’t given a second thought on whether I should write the things I did. There were just so many things I needed to say and I needed them to know how grateful I was for being blessed enough to have them in my life. All these years I didn’t dare say it. And suddenly I was hesitant. I don’t know why, and I still don’t. But there was this tinge of hesitance. Which was completely shattered the moment we started talking to our teachers. I got to see everyone I wanted to, Ms Lee, Dr Ng, Ms Siow, Dr Chiam, Mr D, Mr Toh, Mr A, Ms Wong, Ms Seah, Ms Ng. Everyone :)

But what I loved the most about visiting RG, more than anything else is the simple fact that nothing’s changed. Familiarity. Genuineness. The world is always changing and people are evolving, morphing, putting on facades, hiding their true faces. Love, is no longer pure, so much hidden agenda, so much ulterior motive. And judgement. People are constantly judging you, hurting you. And in this world, so capricious, so cold and careless. You need something, someone to hold on. Something merciful, unchanging. And that’s what RG was for me. Unconditional affections. I guess what I really needed was someone who didn’t change. The teachers, they were the same. Exactly. It was as if we’d never graduated. We could just speak to them. Absence makes the hard grow fonder, Mr D is right :) That was the only difference. We were so much fonder of them, and they of us, simply because we missed them so so much.

I think talking to Mr Toh was the most enlightening and the most refreshing. I swear the bunch of us hadn’t laughed so much whole-heartedly in ages. It was freaking hilarious. And at the end of the day, I was just left so thankful, so amazed by his warmth and his personality. It made my day. And it made me realize how teachers like him were so incredibly hard to find. I’d learn so much from his lessons, and even more from everyday interactions, trying to emulate his amazingly positive outlook, his vibe. He’s more than a mere teacher to me, a role model whom I look up to and respect so very much. Because at the end of the day, he is genuine, sincere and so very special, but above everything else, he’s just him. No facades, no false pretenses.

When you’re studying in RG, you’d feel as if every day is the same. It was routine for us to sit at our small, hard desks mugging, sleeping, trying to get to some chemistry or math problem or other. I watch the blunt needles of my watch weave themselves between the markings, denoting every passing second. The steady ticking of the needles seemed to hypnotize me. And I wonder where did time go? Why did I fail to treasure and appreciate the beautiful people around me, yet again. I’ll do it now. I have done it now. And I’m thankful I didn’t let this chance slip away.

Formspring

2011-08-08T19:16:00.000+08:00

Haha I can't believe I didn't think of this earlier! But I think it was so obvious that it didn't occur to me haha. Okay, so what do you love about the people of 3K.

This is a really really good question. And I think one I’d have the most enjoyable time answering or I’ll struggle answering cos it just can’t be expressed it words <3 Okay here goes, from the day I first stepped into 3K, I’ve somehow never felt the need to pretend that I’m something that I’m not. Acceptance would be one of the first things that I loved about 3K from the start. I still remember the first day after intros and all, the girls went to the canteen and immediately started hanging out. And it felt so natural. There was no façade, no pretense, no fake accents and bitchy attitudes flying around. (I also remember how the dudes were all MIA, for like the first two days and then yall mysteriously appeared on day 3 xD Did the girl-guy ratio scare yall away? hehehe) And I also remember how we played random class games, did the O-team cheer, and played Taboo in the canteen. And how we all mugged through Chem Tutorial 1 together. And when we laughed so hard and hysterically over Kevin’s eating hydrilla and then the seamonkeys in Bio. My point being, it’s always been a natural progression. This relationship. No one has had to induce “class bonding” or force us to go sit in “class tables”. In my Sec 4 class, we had our fair share of fun, but it never felt complete. I just never had that sense of complete unity, but this is a such a massive contrast.. One that I’m so thankful for.

And most recently, when we just sat around and laughed like crazy over the things we did as children. Laughter, that’s one of the things I love the most about our the people in our class. So much fun, so many lovely, unique personalities, but yet another thing we share, boisterous laughter.

Of course the one thing that I’m most thankful for is how genuinely caring our class is for one another. I mean, never have I once had like ten different people being so willing to just hear me out and share in my sorrows and happiness, or so many people ask me if I’m okay because they know I’m having a hard time. And the positivity and the energy that I gain from you all, each moment, is just too precious to be described in words :)

There are just so many things I love about our class.. I mean I don’t think I’d ever do justice writing it out in words. I love every single person, Ain and her angstyness, Ave and her amazing caring personality, Bernard and his (I quote Mr Cheong) “endearing smile”, Elyssa and her elusive, unattainable like-a-bossness, Gerry and her gregariousness and Idk Gigi-ness, Jasmine and her spunky, jazzy-ness, Jo and her jolly, joyful, jocose, jocund, joker-ness that never fails to crack everyone up :), Kevin and his knockout sense of humor and epicness, Simoneee and her sweet, ever amicable self, EmSoh’s mothering everyone, you Brandon for just being the crazy awesome person you are, and such a sweet, thoughtful and encouraging friend :) The class family tree, all of that!! Yet everyone is so talented in their own special way, Ave, Hestia and Elyssa with their amazing voices, you, Jo, Simone, Shanx at dance, Kevin at tennis, You guys are some of the most amazing people I have ever met in my life, put together in any one group. And all so incredibly talented, that I find so much inspiration and admiration for each and everyone of you :)

Even today, Jazzy and I were talking about how we never want JC to end. Ima go find a king-sized tissue box for Prom next year. >< I feel so blessed but at the same time it really scares me to think that we’ve been together 7 months nearly. I’d just wished 3K had happened to me earlier.. Sighs, I realized how much I’ve been missing out on life, the joys of sharing laughter and friendship, of being there for one another, only after meeting you all.

Honestly, in RG, I never wanted JC to end. But now that this has begun, I never want to let go of this. I wouldn’t change a thing about it, This is the best feeling <3

Stop to smell the flowers

2011-07-28T20:44:00.000+08:00

Biggest takeaway from today: You’re only here for a short visit. Don’t hurry. Don’t worry. And be sure to smell the flowers along the way. <3

What started out to be one of the worst days ever, is turning out to be better than I expected. The way I was feeling earlier today was seriously like crap. Down in the dumps, more than I have ever been before But I feel so so thankful for my friends like Ain, Gigi, EmSoh, Giovanni, Tian Cheng, Jo and just everyone in my class. Can’t say it enough. And thank you Brandon, for the enlightenment on the way home. I’m amazed at his knowledge, and even more at his humility :)

P.S. The dog’s face is a bit the epic. Just saying.

Thankful, yet once again..

2011-07-22T07:02:00.004+08:00

So yesterday was supposed to be Racial Harmony Day and we were supposed to be wearing ethnic costumes. I say supposed because eventually so few people did. Amazing how funnily different I apparently look wearing a punjabi suit. And how much you get judged xD

I was telling myself “It’ll all be okay when you get to Marymount. There’ll be more people!” Oh how right I was. I was like the only person standing on the platform, wearing anything. Okay that sounds completely wrong. Like my tweet yesterday ;) But yes, as I was saying. BEST part was following that Jo, Ming E, Tiancheng and Elyssa didn’t even recognize me HAHAHA. Then of course there were all the “ridiculous” comparisons to Ms Veera. See that’s as cynical as I can possibly get. HOW am I like her? xD She’s so awesomely cynically-funny. Thankfully Brandon didn’t pangseh me and showed up in this kinda strong canvased yukata-like jap outfit and all of us were like whoaaa. xD

We started the day off with Civics which was just so epicly funny. We all spent so much of it, just laughing. I felt so super thankful for such an awesome CT in Mr Cheong and for such hilarious classmates, that you can share a joke or a laugh with.

CLASS LUNCH WAS SO FUN. Starting with the fact that

we had to walk around Marymount and J8 getting MAJORLY judged, especially poor him hahaha :) Swagger walking xD

But there were so many moments yesterday when I just felt like I wished I could capture every single moment of all of this on film, just so I’d be able to hold on to moments like these forever. (We didn’t even take one picture though, sadly :( ) I felt so blessed and thankful for a class with such beautiful people and it was really the happiest I’ve been in ages. And just sitting there and laughing with everyone made me forget about all the crap that was going on. Words aren’t enough to describe how happy and hyper I was yesterday. Laughter really is the best medicine, for fatigue, for heartbreak. Love is the only thing that can possibly make up for all the tears you’ve shed. And I’m so so thankful for 3K. I Thank God for them every day, and I pray that they’re happy at every waking moment of thier lives, that they never have to endure sadness, that they have the courage and the perseverance to make it big in life, that we all have more lovely memories together.

More than anybody else in my life right now they are the people holding me together, making sure I don’t fall apart, and even if I do, they’re the ones I run to, whine to, cry to. They’re the unwavering glimmer of hope in my life, the sole candle burning in this dark empty room, but the beauty and the brightness is enough to last a lifetime. OKAY enough emo-ness.

Went to go crash PAC and watch the streeters tech run for Saturday after school :) It was really so amazing to watch them have so much fun laughing and goofing around and bodywaving and of course dancing. And I really felt their genuine passion for performing. I mean it takes us a competition or a performance or a incentive of some sort to achieve that mindset. But it’s just so beautiful to see people who are so involved in what they do. They have fun, they express themselves and they enjoy what they do. I mean it’s art, you as the performer have this honor and purpose of performing for your audience. It is only when the audience enjoys it that you may feel satisfied and happy, and you enjoy yourself. It’s really a reverberating relationship where emotions and enjoyment bounce off both parties. But I guess sometimes the situation doesn’t fully execute itself. Sighs… Ohwells I was thankful to be able to watch them anyway! The high spirits are mildly contagious, dare I say, although I know like 2 people.

Then after which I had to go for Math Tuition ._. Ohwells! It was fun enough chionging to J8 to print photos before that! Which reminds me, I need to fully utilize Tumblr’s pretty pictures :)) And of course during Math Tuition, I felt so thankful yet again for having friends who are so willing to share their knowledge and help out with what may seem like the simplest things, like Math. Not many people would be so generous. He’d probably never see this but OMG f’(x) graphs = skateboarding. MINDBLOWN. Toru Kumon needs to scoot over. The world needs like the Brandon Yeo Method (Y)

GP Humour :)

2011-07-16T00:09:00.000+08:00

ROUGH TOILET PAPER SHOULD BE ILLEGAL. IT’S LIKE WIPING MY ASS WITH SANDPAPER

“Rough toilet paper should be illegal. It’s like wiping my ass with sandpaper”

This seriously reminds me of GP today.

I quote Kevin “Sir, the toilet paper is so rough! And the toilet bowl sucks! Its like automated or something……….” And then the rest is now “OMG DUDE TMI” history. Seriously, I was damn pissed off over Bio in the morning, but GP made everything better. Thanks to my awesome class :) I haven’t laughed this much in 1.5 hours ever since I got to JC. I thought it would never happen again. But today it did. :) Thank God for my class, seriously. I wouldn’t give my classmates up even if you gave me a million dollars, a hundred Gibson Guitars, or nine more lives. I love them too much <3 Salvation compared.. well to some other people -.-

This one's for you..

2011-07-10T19:37:00.000+08:00

So I’m finally back to updating Tumblr again. Felt the urge to do this time and time again. But the problem I was just so depressed over everything that was happening around me. I felt so hated by the people around me, I felt as if Project Work was going to lead to my demise, I felt as if I was messing up the balance of my CCA, as if I was never meant to do any of this. I felt as if all of the world was against me. And then on Friday, I got my Chem results back. Worst fail grade of my entire life. And that did it for me, I just broke down. Not because I couldn’t accept that I got such a low grade. Trust me, I have no ego whatsoever to be bruised. (In fact, if you wish to instruct me as to where and how I may obtain one, I will be most genuinely grateful to you..) I just felt as if I was trying so hard and giving my best in every single thing that I was doing. Yet nothing was working for me. Nothing. It was as if disaster, after disaster was waiting to happen and anything that my hand touched, or I put my heart to achieving was beyond my reach.

But what I never realized was that all this time, while I fretted about one or two negative people who were causing me to feel this way, I was completely oblivious and ignorant to some very beautiful people who surround me, every day of my life. Sometimes you look around, and all you ever see is the people that you hate and the things that make you upset. But if you look again, there will be at least one person in your life, at any one point in time, who will be constantly telling you “It’s okay, don’t give up. Keep fighting on”. There will be someone who will share in your happiness and your sorrows, someone who will advice when you need someone to turn to and someone to share a laugh or tears with when life just gets a tad too tough. I mean, what are we without another person in our lives?

And just how blessed are you when you don’t have just one person, but so many wonderful people who are willing to catch you when you fall?..

All this while, here I was, I was completely oblivious to the some of the most beautiful blessings in my life. My amazing classmates and parents. <3 I was busy being depressed and frustrated over the most trivial things. About how I couldn’t get anything right, about how I couldn’t get the approval of some people.

I just feel so thankful for my awesome friends and classmates. I honestly don’t think I’ve ever been surrounded by a group of people who are so genuinely kind and thoughtful, and so willing to painstakingly help me whatever I face. I might not be getting stellar grades right now, but I Thank God for the day I decided to take BCML or I never would have gotten a chance to meet these wonderful people. I think, if not anything else, the toughest of times make you realise who your true friends really are :) Thank God for people like Brandon, Emily, Simone, Jazzy, Ave, Hilary, Bernard, Tian Cheng, Geraldine, Marie, Jo.. The list just goes on and on.. There are so many people that genuinely care enough to just ask if I’m okay. I feel so blessed and moved by their thoughtfulness and kindness :) The most magical thing of all was how everything fixed itself within less 24 hours that I decided to just let go and stop worrying about every minute detail. J2 Farewell is less than 24 hours away and I can’t wait to give my amazing seniors, like Brandon said, the best farewell they’ve never expected ^^ I have no idea how it happened. But every problem in this world that is created by man, has its solution that every one of us is capable of executing. All you gotta do is have a little faith sometimes.

With my friends around and in God’s grace, what do I have to be afraid of or feel insecure for? CCA, Politics, CTs, Promos, Whatever. BRING IT ON! :)

Being happy doesn’t mean that life is perfect, it just means that you choose to look beyond the imperfections. And besides, I don’t need to change myself just so someone else will appreciate me. I don’t need your stamp of approval. I am what I am, and nothing can or will change me.

So here we are, my first official Tumblr post. This one’s to some of the most beautiful people the earth has ever seen, This one’s for you 12SO3K. Thank you for being the reason I wake up each morning <3

Here I am, This is the moment

2010-11-04T16:40:00.000+08:00

This very day, 5 years ago I was sitting around fretting about how I just created 3 blogs (all of in which I never got beyond 1 post) with this blend between a bimbotic fake accent plus slightly Singaporeano tone.

This very day 4 years, I was freaking out about how I had to play guitaron, how embarassing it was going to be in front of the seniors, and how much I sucked and how RGGE clapped for me and it meant the biggest thing in the world. How Raffles Cheers reminded me of Orientation. And how Mrs D Tan was leaving and how Ms Sally Wong sang us a song. And how depressed I was that Charis was leaving. There I was again thinking I knew what depression meant.

And this very day, 3 years ago, there I was yet again speaking of the sense of loss I felt losing 201. How the class made me feel like I mattered in some minute way, every minute every hour every day.. and writing dedication posts to every person in class and every teacher. And it was then I very smartly said (or more like copied and pasted from some Google search): Goodbyes are not forever, goodbyes are not the end. They simply mean we’ll miss you, until we meet again.

And then this very day, last year, I was freaking out over Arts Fest, filled with self-doubt and naïveté, wondering if my CCA could ever pull it off, feeling sorry for myself that I would never watch Mr Toh sing "No Boundaries" live (I still regret that a tiny bit, mind you :P ) and getting fired left and right during multiple full dress rehearsals. Even then, the tiniest compliment made me feel like I was in heaven if the person mattered that much to me. And here's what I had to say:
"I mean sometimes, even if it may hurt when the people whom you would think would appreciate you don't appreciate you, but the people whom you least expect would actually think you matter the slightest bit. Makes you feel like you're on top of the world. Everything is okay in the end, if it's not okay it's not the end."

Here I am, this very day, the day I thought every other year that I knew all there was to it to say goodbye to Sec4, the anticipation, how depressing it would be to not be an RGS girl anymore.

Now I know, I knew nothing. Nothing at all. Neither did I know what I would be leaving behind, nor did I know how to cherish memories that were then average, ordinary but today extra-special. I didn't know how to deal with it. I still don't. And most of all, I never believed it would happen to me. That day was just so far away. And here I am now. This is the end. And it has already happened. Farewell Assembly. For the graduating batch of 2010, my batch.

Here I am. This is the moment
Here I am. Feel the love is waiting
From now, the start of something new
My life is not complete when I'm standing
Standing close to you

- Paul Twohill

Living in Denial

2010-10-28T11:52:00.003+08:00

Helloo World!

I realise it's been centuries since I've blogged. Nearly 5 months. Fascinating how fast time flies, even if you're not having fun really. It's exactly 5 days to graduating.. Sighs I really don't know how I got here. I don't get how I managed to make it through all the tough times all the tears and all the crazy things we went through.

Options has been fun and, oh my word, very very painful at times. Did What's Up Singapore, Politics and Modern Society and PhotoElectronics. Okay yes luh, the last one was so (un)fortunate. Cos the moment physics ended I was like oh Good Riddance! But noooo, you're stuck with Physics Options. And I swear, I have not understood a single thing ever since the first lesson. The only thing I understood was

1. Morse Code

2. 3D Glasses

cos they're the most un physics things you can possibly find. The other two were fun though! But honestly, RG has to STOP DOING THIS GROUP WORK THING. I realise how easily usable I am. I mean, I chionged the entire What's Up options paper overnight only to find out we were gonna me given 2 hours the next day -.- Am I sad or Am I sad? It's not fun to rearrange what your friens wrote, edit like mad, type somemore and edit somemore and exceed the word limit by 965 words just when the clock strikes midnight. And no, your vehicle is not turning into a pumpkin, and neither is your fairy godmother going to hantam you. It's just the fact that you're going to look, feel, sound, (hear and smell I'm not sure) like a zombie the next morning. Trust me, been there done that. Oh and did I mention you have eye bags that look like sagging breasts or something. You'd really feel like getting a bra for them -.- Ohwells, it all ends tomorrow. And then there are four more, short painless days to the most painful of all.

Graduation. 4th November is going to be.. I don't know what it's going to be. I mean at first I was being all, it can't be that bad, I am not attached to this place like I think I am. And I realised I'm forcing myself into denial. Denial of getting from the first day I stepped into RGS, not knowing which was the KS Chee and which was the Evelyn Norris Hall, gullibly believing there was a "cafeteria" in school, and being all hyper-gay about seniors, going through orientation, getting into the loveliest class 201, playing for SYF and crying my eyes out after that cos I thought we weren't good enough, playing Arts Fest and crying somemore cos I was so happy that we were fantastic on stage, becoming vchair, enduring pure, utter torture for one entire year, breezing (oh who am I kidding) through paper after paper in Sec 4 and crying my eyes out at midyears for screwing exams up, failing Math, Lit and Chem in Sem 1, plus stellarly pulling up my GPA at EYAs. All the memories, bittersweet, too many to keep track off. I wish I could write them all down, take a million photographs, tape record every word, something, anything really. But no.. it's really impossible. But some point in your life, you might see some significant object or colour or person, and be reminded of something and you'd smile to yourself.. and then you'd realise.. What memories are.. =)

black colour liner

2010-05-31T13:15:00.000+08:00

Adam can dance man.. CHOREO FTW! :O

If you could feel what I feel...

2010-05-23T18:10:00.002+08:00

Hello worldd! Hahah I somehow haven't blogged in ages. Nor had the urge to blog. Ohwells...

It's been a completely stressful term. Seriously the word stress just got new definition. Completely unbearable having AAs, SPAs, PTs, Orals and goodness knows what else day in day out. Plus CCA stuff is creating this pile that is growing above my head. It's really killer man. I honestly feel that leadership positions have such a hefty pricetag. And some people need to have a greater sense of responsibility. Ohwait I forgot, they never had responsibility to begin with right... Oops sorry! My bad!!

Went for Choir Concert yesterday. STRESSRELIEF MAN!! It was amazing! Itsuki is so heart wrenchingly beautiful. I videotaped that one :) The choice of songs was so diverse and you can tell they really sang their hearts out. And the musical, very cool.. Azura was incredibly cuute! Hahahah. You could really tell they put so much into that concert, blood sweat and tears. We have the most talented choir ever man! The harmonies were incredibly beautiful and so very clean and their tone is so nice! Ms Loo is an amazing conductor too! And so awe-inspiring, well unlike some people. Makes me really regret that one choice that I made ranking choir second. Reminded me so much of the awesomee days in RGPS choir.. I never said I regretted guitar but I regret not joining choir. Ohwells there's always JC.

Oh and the Teachers' Guest item was really lovely! :) Mr Toh has such an amazing vibrato and a falsetto. He'll beat the reigning Singapore Idol Se-what's his name for sure. WANNA BET? :)) Could totally sense the rockstarness evolving in mr joseph toh's voice, especially the last chorus of Stay the Same.. And the two of them stage presence ttm man. Anything acoustic guitar/medley is awesome Heh.

Saddening that we can't do one for guitar concert. So annoying luh -.- Although that would mean my entire batch will sabo me to go sing on stage but I'm prepared to be publicly humiliated really. AHHHHH CONCERT IS TUESDAY.

And I have an OpenHouse Performance, Two Tech Runs, AA, PT, SPA plus Concert over the next 120 hours. They should really make it Thinker, Leader, Pioneer, Superwoman luh.

If you could see, what i see, that you're the answer to my prayers
And if you could feel, the tenderness i feel
You would know, it would be clear, that angels brought me here...

My pride and my joy: Yes we're going to party party

2010-03-06T11:30:00.008+08:00

HELLO WORLD!! I have had ZERO hours of sleep but I am completelyy hyper!! :)

It was Founders' Day in RG today and it was probably the awesomestt Founders Day ever!! :) It really is quite amusing how they splurged on massive lights and costumes for RGS130 but how I think, this will be the one which we remember for life. Simple yet sophisticated, and very sweet (literally and figuratively)

The very start of the day was cheery with all the cuute people with clown noses and tall hats were screaming "Happy Founders' Day" to every passing person, not once diminishing the enthusiasm in their voices :) And it really put a smile on our faces. Sometimes I wish every day were some occasion. It would be nice to have someone say such a thing to you every morning. Hahah. So yes, was frantically looking for Shyama to pass her the thumbdrive for ACSI!! Argh. Hopefully it worked..

And then FD started! It was so pretty! There was these two giant balloon arches with all the house colours and streamers around the sides. Really looked like a partayye! :) The GOH was Justice Judith Prakash! SO COOL! :) Hahah. And Ms Norris came too! And then we sang the school song and yada yada. Concert segment was very cool. They had the cheerleaders dance; Jody Hong looked so prettyyy! :) And the Rafflesian Souls thingy. And Indian Dance, Sudesna looked gorgeous in the outfit and they did this kathak-infused routine for Aaja Nachle. Zhang Rui performed for the quirky talents thing and totally owned the rest! :) Then there was the k-pop thing and the Bad Romance one. AND ZOMG the teh tarik! I was so amusedd! I think almost everyone was!

The clowns were completely EPICC!!! Omgosh I was looking for mr d and never realised he was there until I heard him speaking to some of the teachers in the foyer. Characteristic voice and all :) Lynn was so freaking cute with the mop-move HAHAHAH. Then we had the principals' rendition of Happy Birthday by the Beatles. Mrtoh was totallyy singing along! :) He was such a good i/c luh! Some people *coughcough* should totally learn from him. And the superman thing! Some people need to please stop feigning innocence tyvm. It's totally getting on my nerves. Oh and Mrs Tan's outfit was totally lepard preents man! Can't believe even our principals are so awesomely sporting! :) Then we sang the birthday song to RGS and they threw balloons down from the sides and everyone started throwing them around and bursting them!

I'M SCARED OF BALLOONSSS!!!!!! :( Ohwells! And then we had the cake cutting, and guess what? For the first time ever, we actually got cake too!! Pretty cute cupcakes to complement the giant rgs cake! :D

Picture Courtesy of Cheryl Pay off Facebook :)

I think they're gorgeous!! They have like cream and chocolate filling. Couldn't even finish it! I had no heart to eat mine! I have this super unglam way of eating cake and it was all over my face sadly :( But I think this year is prolly the best Founders' Day. Mr De Souza was totally right :) Probably the most memorable one, cos they really manipulated with the things RG girls go totally nuts over ie. teachers performing, cupcakes, balloons, cheery people, CLOWNS! Hahah totally festive atmosphere and I think OT put a lot of thought into it. And the little voiceovers were totally cool too! Very sentimental :)

Spirit Week was complete cuckoo-ness, especially English where I had to re-present my powerpoint for coughcough reasons! Heheheh it was hilarious!! And the Mad about English DVD was so ughh irritating with its little way of sitting in the corner of the screen. I still don't get Bio Ohemgee :(

And I went to watch Avatar FINALLY on Wednesdayy! From like 8.30 to 12mn.. and got a midnite starbucks :) Chocolate Chip Cream is bliss! Nah actually anything starbucks is bliss :)

STARBUCKSSSSS :D Hehehe. I need coffee right nowww.. Okay I shall go to sleep.. its been like nearly 36hours since I slept.

And it hit me that the firsts of lasts has already begun. First Last Founders' Day in RGS... Will definitely miss every moment of events like these.. but I'm glad we get the best; like the best Teachers' Day EVER in Sec1 and now this.. We are so so blessed.

I will survive...

2010-02-06T01:22:00.001+08:00

Hate.
What is hate? I know for one that hate is not love.
No far from it..
To dislike intensely or passionately; feel extreme aversion for or extreme hostility toward; detest.

Even there there's passion. It's a powerful compelling feeling. And there's another feeling of helplessness. And the act of consolation. To alleviate the grief the sorrow and the disappointment. To comfort and to give solace. But how concrete, how genuine are any of these emotions? Is it just an illusion a front, a shield across your heart to protect us from the reality. But what happens when that shield shatters into a million different pieces and pierces you, all the way into your soul? What then? Who is going to pick the pieces and put them back together?What is the adhesive that will mend what you lost? Love? Tears? Yet another shield, this one stronger, less naive, and pray that this one doesn't shatter, doesn't corrode from the crocodile tears of pseudos at every radius of the circle of life...

I hate a lot of things, a lot of people. I'm sorry, I can't been faux naïf no more. That will put us on the same level. I hate how I look, I hate that I have to brush off my tears and smile ruefully when a smile plays on your lips, your nose scrunches up and your eyes crinkle. I hate the way I can hear your voice in my head when I wake in the morning or when I'm crying myself to sleep as night falls. I hate that I have this strange ability to guess what you're doing and probably get it right. More than anything, I hate how much I miss you.

What is hate? What are emotions? What is self abandonment; annihilation, actualisation? What is life? Is it worth living?
Just tell me you won't leave, won't slip through my fingers.
That will be there impetus for my mere survival. Survival may not equate to life, but it'll be as close as I can get.

It's just me selling a lie..

2010-01-28T19:25:00.001+08:00

Today was a pretty mixed day for me. Emotionally mixed - and yes I guess Mr Wolfe was right (we miss him! Hahah) I do wear my emotions on my sleeve.

It's ingenious that I don't get what's going on with Linear Law. At all! Joy. And omg INO's new costume is going to be amazingly gorgeousness! It's pink and very pretty material. Speaking of which, I'm extremely pissed off at this person for making me do all the work while he or she sits back and relaxes through the entire episode. Oh oh and apparently she's sick. Right... I'm the one with the flu love! Feelin better already? -.-

Anyhow, yup SS was ...
Yeah that's it ellipsis. Confusing man! Missed like four lessons and currently slogging through that article. Thank goodness we got an extension for English AA. PHEW MAN!! Now we can film on Saturday at my place! :D

Physics was yet another ellipsis but the class was totally hyper trying to frantically do the cup on card pressure experiment. Should have taped it for class video. What a waste. I think I wanna go get meself a smaller camera than a handycam luh. So hard to lug around. And BIo was epicly funny as usual. But I'm beginning to have a tiny bit of confusion. Note: Last time I had that was my Sec3 Bio paper which I cried truckloads over. Not gonna let that happen again!

We titrated like crazy for RS. Thanks Ms Ng for waiting! Ms Ng is awesome! Like she personally knows how epic fail my titrating skills are. She's experienced the power of them first hand ;) WELL at least now we know the orange juice gets titrated into DCPIP not the other way around..

So got out of school about half an hour after it ends and end up in a really crowded train with a bunch of idiotic *TE indian guys. It was so bloody irritating and the only reason now I'm typing this, this way is cos I don't want this post to appear when someone types in their schools name. And yet they don't even have that sense of respect toward themselves. And a note my darling female species, do not wear your nametags out. Ever. So yes I was fuming mad. And got out two stops ahead somehow. Phew.

So finally got home and yup decided to watch my first lot of tv this fortnight. Two hours american idol auditions. Entertainment weekly for you :P Nah I'm serious there's nothin to watch; Im more YouTube reliant and there's no time at all. I love Ryan Seacrest! Hahah random! But I love Adam Lambert more! Even if he's gay! Cos he's gay! Nah kidding. It's his birthday tomorrow :) Oh oh and Kris is coming to Singapore. Ugh. WHEN IS ADAM COMING?!?!
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Allergic rhinoceros

2010-01-27T15:11:00.002+08:00

So back to school after a week today! Feels like March holidays plus an allergic rhinoceros OOPS I mean rhinitis :( who am I kidding. Got a flu from a bacteria or a homosapien at IMCB :( It's quite nice to get a 'oh you're back' reaction from like 20 people in a day though. Makes you feel wanted for a change. Ohwells, decided to lighten things a little bit considering it's been all emo emo deep dramatic around here.
Lit was probably the funnest lesson today! I love Ms Lee's little 'free free free' thing and the 'Ms Congeniality' sequence. Gosh I wish she taught us English. Then I think it would kill the uniqueness of her Lit class. I think that happens alot when you have two subjects by the same teacher. And I'd rather have extremely interesting Lit classes then have my wishful thinking fulfilled. Although I do admit, it still hasn't hit me yet about Ms Low when Ms Lee was discussing death in The Story Of An Hour, her face kept flashing in my mind. And part of me feels lucky not to have known her very well, horrid as it sounds. She was too beautiful a human being; coping with the loss of someone like that would be unthinkable. I don't know what would have happened and I don't think I want to know.

Dr Ng's little speech about why she chose teacher over lecturer nearly made me want to cry. Especially when she said when I'm a lecturer I don't care if you fail, when I'm a teacher I care. Just that one phrase 'I care' says a lot. It's not just I'm your teacher. Full stop end of story. It's I'm your teacher and yes I do care for you. I love people like that, they're so very hard to find =) Probably in my life at RGS found at least 3 or 4 of those. One for each year, or more. Very very lucky. Like Ms Sally Wong & Ms Picca in Sec1.
Then there was Mr Toh, Mr De Souza in Sec2 Lovely lovely teachers. And Ms Regina Lee and Mr Chandra. Okay luh that makes a large majority of my teachers so well.. I guess it goes to say most of our teachers are awesome. And then some hahah. Don't know how I'm going to survive JC without them :(

Oh there I go again.. Emoing and all. I think it's quite fascinating that so many people blog about teachers! Hahah, then again thru are the crux of what goes on in our every day lives 5 days a week. Almost 24/7. Why 24/7? Cos Rgs girls stay up past midnight and even then procrastination about the homework overload involves teachers dare I say? :P hahah just kidding. So people reading my blog and freaking about teacher posts, rational explanation provided tyvm.
Oh and what's interesting is that so many of them have Twitter! Like the iRGS thing! But scared to follow luh. They don't have many tweets though. I really wonder if there has been some 'Get all your students off your FB account' policy in our school.. cos I think Mr Tan un-friended us and so did Mr A... Oh but then again there's still Mr De! :) And Mr Evans gave me an energy pack roflmao! Hmm.. I wonder especially considering all the little episodes we have on comment threads. It'd be sad if we don't have random animalporn trivia anymore with him hahah!

Oh ooh quotes post coming soon! :)

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I'll See You Again

2010-01-20T23:18:00.005+08:00

So 1st day of my IMCB attachment at Biopolis and it starts out pretty good. Got to the place just nicely on time. There were a bunch of other students from Hwa Chong, Nanyang, MGS, VJC, ACJC. My dad kept me company till Vic arrived and then Xue Li came to pick us up. Went to the Labs and did admin work. Then they started talking about Quorum Sensing. Turned out Vic and I were the only ones who had read up. Hahah. She seemed impressed :P Then we had to plate worms onto E.Coli so that they would grow. They would be the ones we kill later. Sterilized the knives and killed them.

And then we had two hour for lunch. Went to the Matrix food court and tried out the food there. And then I got the call. From Vicky. That Ms Low had passed on.

And that was it. I just lost my mood. We went back to the workstation and started getting on the com. And punched out that post in record speed fighting back tears cos only three other people in that entire room knew me. It just isn't right. I'm sick of crying in public.

It still hasn't sunk into me yet. That I'll never see her again. Ever. It's a very disturbing thought, it's the very first time Ive consciously felt a sense of loss.

But the one thing that keeps haunting me is that it could have easily been someone else.. I swear to God, if it had been one of the teachers that are extra special to which whom harm had befallen, i would have been desperate, inconsolable.

So I pray that all the people I love in this world, are safe tonight and healthy too. Not just tonight, every minute every hour every day every moment they see nothing but a smile, with one of their own spreading across their beautiful faces. That they never shed a single tear or feel anger, pain, loss, fear. This one is for everyone I love, parents, friends, special teachers, even if I've met you in hallways a thousand times and I don't know what is your name and you mine.. I love you so much, you mean the world to me. Cos I'm afraid that I won't get to say it. That this moment won't last forever.

That I'll lose someone, and in that, I'll lose myself. And I'll never know that I did.

At this moment in time, this one song makes so much sense, so pure and beautiful...

Always you will be part of me
And I will forever feel your strength
When I need it most
You’re gone now, gone but not forgotten
I can’t say this to your face
But I know you hear

I’ll see you again
You never really left
I feel you walk beside me
I know I’ll see you again

When I’m lost, when I’m missing you like crazy
I tell myself I’m so blessed
To have had you in my life, my life

When I had the time to tell you
Never thought I’d live to see the day
When the words I should have said
Would come to haunt me
In my darkest hour I tell myself
I’ll see you again

Never leave you, yeah
Gone but not forgotten
I feel you by my side
No this is not goodbye

If tears could build a stairway
And memories a lane
We'd walk right up to heaven
And bring you home again
R.I.P. Ms Low Wailin

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Gone too soon..

2010-01-20T13:48:00.008+08:00

I used to believe everything would be okay in the end, if its not okay its not the end.

That's how things were supposed to be, supposed to work out. But death, its horrible. It marks the end of a human life. Life. What is in that word? What makes that word so.. inspiring, so meaningful, so promising. Even if you survive every passing day meaninglessly, the sun merely rises and sets in your day, that's a life too.. Or none of it matters to you, to merely sit around staring at the pale walls of your world, possibly in your office, your staffroom, your little cubby hole or some place else.. Meaningless, a sheer waste of time, that's a life too.. But what if life was beautiful, and I mean that, the sun may rise or set, your smile would never fade. And you had a hundred, two hundred, two thousand people to watch the sunrise on your face.. Everytime a class said thank you and goodbye.. When was that one and only time they actually meant it.. I never thought I'd say this but that's the way it ends up to be.. Why, God, Why? That's the only question that still echoes inside, the one question that will never be answered..

I think this is probably the moment, the impetus in my life, where personally I'd never feel the same way about two distinctly differentiated ideas, life and death. Never will I ever say Go and Die, Die luh or I want to kill myself over the minutest and most trivial of issues. It is the closest sense of loss I have ever experienced. And it's a feeling no one deserves to undergo. Yet it happens.. Superficial as it may seem in meaning in some contexts, it makes a world of difference in another. A sense of fear, despair and loss.

Born to amuse, to inspire, to delight
Here one day, Gone one night
Like a sunset, dying with the rising of the moon
Gone too soon..

seconds, hours, so many days..

2010-01-16T15:33:00.003+08:00

I'm amazed. Speechless, dare I say.

And it's not Adam Lambert, Joseph McElderry or Westlife this time..

It's a wonderful feeling to have someone tear you down and be the meanest possible in a lifetime, just months down the road, they appreciate your existence and actually have a good word or two not just to you, for you, about you.. to others as well!

August 22, 2009 was the day I knew; the day I promised myself, that I would and I could change an impression. I didn't want to prove myself to anyone, I wanted to prove to myself that I didn't deserve this this sobriquet, this epithet, not in the least fond. It was not who I was, who I am.

Just 211 680 minutes, 3528 hours, 21 weeks, 4 months and a crushing 25 days later it has happened. I guess that's what life is about..

If you see the wonder of a fairytale..

2010-01-14T15:50:00.000+08:00

Life is a wonder.. Im convinced.
Currently in a train frantically typing away on my phone. And being strenuously observed by little primary schoolers from rgps who strongly believed I copied their uniform. Until a senior girl told her that I'm from RGS. And she returns to her Charlotte's Web of childhood lies and inches away from me.

And there's this man on board telling his caller Im in the taxi stand just when the speaker manages to wring out a next station Bishan. I'm incessantly positive that the person on the other end couldn't have thought that was someone speaking to someone else. For Bishan is neither a name, form of conversation, interjection, exclamation whatsoever. English in Society much?

And Ive been to a new Math tuition with a group class and pretty much learned to over intimidation of people - and of the subject. Worries and self doubt are a matter of the past. Self-judgements, self-infliction dare I say.. If you want to survive this day to the next, the only thing that takes you through is confidence that the sun will come out tomorrow and you - you'll be alive, awake not asleep or dead. And you make the choice how you spend every moment, complaining, joking, laughing, crying, optimistic, pessimistic.

School has been very trying but teaching too. Social Studies when we learn to differentiate nation and state, shared identities, oneness and unity. The one issue tearing the entire world, homo sapien clan and human race apart. Identity.
That can be Math & Physics too. Proving trigonometric identities. Something that used to be my worst nightmare. Slightly less of a trauma. When it gets to a sweet dream I'll keep you posted. Literature is in some form. a study of identity, it is the conflict between various characters that is the crux of the matter and their identity that causes them to behave, speak and act a certain way is the root of the conflict. The civilization and society the author exists in, it's values and doctrines govern a writer's work.

So if it's values and identity that ideally manipulate human life, then what about imitation, trend setting, the fervour over brand names? Superficiality. Another undeniable factor of human life. The physique, the looks, the brand names splayed over the phone, purse and every other posession. What about those? What about the Mohawks sprouting out of wannabe punk rockers head, and the sweeping fringes and falling curtains over the eyes, and the windows of the average Emo's world? The head-turning gorgeous young lady who sashays down the street vs the ordinary looking girl-next-door who is ever approachable with a golden heart? Every righteous profession has it's on identity, superficiality, human relationship, values and perceivably imitation. Teachers even.. Why are some teachers favoured to others? Is it their style, personality, looks, and do these things contribute to someone having an identity of their own? Why do some people put up a front that's so fake then, imitate others styles? Barack Obama, Michael Jackson and all the beautiful people are being imitated. That's where sincerity has a trend in it's own right.

Biology has been brimming with special attachments, gametogenesis and subsequent releases all courtesy of male organisms. And of diverse species. All on video. Screened to a class of girls and biology students, frantically doubling over in fits of laughter. Elephants clamber on top of one another and surprisingly don't break their spines. Tortoises fight to with fervent increase in speed an animation, whether it impresses the female or not, sure does impress humans. And the beauty of it all, animal society is humane enough (ironic huh?) to accept gay culture and hermaphrodites while human civilization hasn't attained that maturity. But all these aside, human beings are created with identity, more than any other being, identity in physiology, behaviour and spirituality. And there's only two connects that are essential to last a lifetime, one with your parents, another with God. And Im thankful for being given the opportunity to embody the silhouette of my future as an RGS girl My first two weeks in school have been the impetus; the need to have an identity of my own... Goals for 2010, no resolutions. Time has yet to spell my climax or my resolution. Only destiny is heralded.

Life is wonder. I'm convinced.. are you?

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haven't met you yet

2010-01-07T18:33:00.004+08:00

HELLO! :) So.. today was better than yesterday! A LOT better :) See! Things do get better eventually! Hahah if the world gets bitter and things start looking down, hang from a tree upside down! It helps! Hahahahahah

Now.. to find an article for englishh... Hmmm

In your name, I find meaning..

2010-01-06T22:54:00.004+08:00

Every day, and every waking moment you are choosing either to be grateful or to be disappointed. You can worry to no end about what you don't have or marvel at God's breathtaking gifts..: the morning dew the clouds the trees the flowers the birds.. Could you create any of these? The miracles of life are always around you, ready to be celebrated, ready to be welcomed into your life..

So... I've been running around being this stupid dreadfully depressed soul and complaining about every single thing.. Honestly! I've been going OMG why didn't we get so and so? Why do we have to get so and so.. blahblahblah.. And you know what? I've decided to stop being a moron and get on with life as it is..

Today was a horrible day, personally. Cos we had SS, Literature, Biology Recess English and CLE.. I hate the feeling of newness, of unfamiliarity, of alienness.. and alienation. I hate the first days at school, at CCA and with teachers.. It makes me queasy.. I just don't like it one bit and that's all I've been having for the past few days. Responsibilities, leadership, all the big words that sound meticulously impressionable, impressive perhaps.. All coming down on you 48 hours of your life is something hard to grasp at. It's like someone turned out the lights and you're stuck there fighting your way out and groping around, feeling in the dark. But I mean everything given to you, even this very life is a privilege isn't it? If it's taken away from you, you'd feel incomplete, fragmented perhaps.. But what if you were leading a normal life one day and suddenly you went blind and lost your eyes? How long are you going to sit and cry over what's been done? What's done is done, it can't be undone, so get over it! Like Ting Wei once told me, don't be sad that it's over, be glad that it happened. So here I am holding on, moving on. And I'm glad for every single fond memory I've had so far.. every one of them. Words cannot express how much I treasure those.

I don't really like this year like teachers and all.. not as much as the last, or Sec2.. Sec 2 was awesomeee ttm man! Such amazing amazing teachers and my lovely class! Gosh :( But I'm gonna make the best I have of this year and all the people around, and stop praying for miracles. Reality check. Lol. I guess it'll take time to fully understand everyone anyways.. CLE was fun(ny) cos like our class was being so randomly funny.. That's what I love about them.. Our theme this year is *drum rolls* SHOES! :D (Whutttt Hahahahah) but it's funky! :) Lol but the puns and all addie came up with were ultimatum awesome please! :) I'm still coming to terms with my new term as Bio rep... tsktsk... Never thought I'd say this publicly but I miss Mr De Souza's lessons A LOT.. I know he's probably gonna see this but I heck care already luh. Nothing wrong in saying it.. Today's lesson was just strange. If he's gonna ask how it was, I'm going to die in speechlessness of its resplendency -.-

Hahahah so I was being all solemn and sombre after school today when a very cheery Mr Toh comes along and goes "Heyy!! Why are you walking so.. solemnly? I mean you're like *imitates my expression* (and swear to God, its near-perfect rofl) and starts laughing.. HAHAHAHAHAH That was freaking hilarious. Probably the funniest thing that happened all day! Heard from 404 that a brand new HTC touch G1 came flying at their English rep in place of his Sony Ericsson! Lol! (Can I just say this once? A bunch of us are sooo sad we didn't get him for English this year :( Hahah 01, 04 and 11 are REALLY lucky. And to all those people who think I'm nuts? I may very well be nuts but, he's an amazing teacher, one in a million so quit talking nonsense already!! ) Got this off FB it's beautiful and so very true. Now to attempt to do Workplan for RS... (: I like RS! Just that it's one helluva torture sometimes :'( Ohnooo haven't found an article for english..

God doesn't create faulty lives. No, Everything created by God is perfect, and so are you.. So stop driving yourself mad with endless ways to improve, and just accept the glory of your being as is..

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When did I let you go?

2010-01-02T23:56:00.005+08:00

You asked me what was wrong.. I smiled and said nothing, when you turned around tears fell and I whispered to myself..

everything is

DEPRESSIONNNN

2010-01-02T16:39:00.005+08:00

Oh My Freaking Gosh. Timetables are out. I AM SO FREAKING DEPRESSED D: D: D:

I really really really really really really really really really really really really wanted _______ but I end up getting ______ instead D: This is so depressing :( And I don't even know whom half my teachers are! OMGOSHHHH I'm going to pray that I get ______ back, please god, don't bail out on me :'( I need ____ badly! SO badly! Come on I need a miracle now! Or else I'm gonna cry my eyes out! :( This is so unfair!!! And for some strange reason, I'd really like Mr De Souza back now! :( Dunno whose our Bio teacher.. 3__ and 3__ always get the best in life! Its so freaking unfair!!!!!!

[edit] Mr D says on my FB status Abi: I have spoken to your new Bio teacher and briefed her on the style, personality of your class. I think you are in good hands for 2010. Do let me know if anything. OMG DONT RUB IT IN LUHHH!! Suddenly Im wishing I didnt get my combi of 3ScLit.. Or that I never knew ___ that well.. Then I wouldn't feel so horrible and useless.. but now I've fallen too deep to scramble out..

But come what may, I've decided that I'm gonna take ______'s Options for sure :)

Happy new year!!

2010-01-01T14:13:00.003+08:00

Happy New Year Worldddddddd!

Whoo it's a new decade man! It's crazy, it just dawned on me that it's my last year in RG. So.. Mom and I did all the prayers and lit all the pretty lamps and all. And then sit around sending smses and funny things till 2.40am :( Hahah then sleep and Dad came back home with two boxes of Leonidas Belgian Chocolates from the airport *faints*. Zomg someone once said 'I love chocs to death' Hellyeah, agreed. I wanna be buried with some (: Heh. Hahahah anyways... I need to stop eating chocolate :( Screwed my throat up a bit.

Went to the Krishnan Temple tonight! The Ekanta Seva is gorgeous! (: What I'm referring to is this really pretty evening prayer where they 'put the god to sleep'! It's really really beautiful and divine! Cousins are coming over tmr cos we're giving the newlyweds a treat! :)

I still owe people a photo post man! Of cakes and cookies, and wallets and nailpolish and a whole lot of stuff.. I really wonder when I turned into a brandfreak man :( Like I mean I went around looking for Bonia and Guess and Pierre Cardin and B.U.M. and Charles and Keith and Juicy Couture and goodness knows what else for two days to get me self a wallet. Last time it used to be wallets? okay.. polo spirit! WTH :( I think the first branded thing I got was like some super ex brand wallet my dad bought me when I was in P1 lmao. Oh wait wait, there were some really ex designer shoes my dad bought me when was like 3! And my aunt was chiding him for splurging on a little kid.. but he didn't care! Okay its in the blood then :) And then it was like Kappa bag, Zinc Bag, L'Amore Collection Phones, PUMA Sweater, Swatch Watch, MacBook Pro, iPhone, Noel Collection Cases, Guess Wallet... GEEZ D: When did I get so....... ugh nevermind. OMGEE mjsbigblog just uploaded Adams Gridlock NYE event. Got a lot of songs :D

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Guess..

2009-12-31T21:50:00.001+08:00

Soo I went a bit mad today and went on my own to go get a wallet and waterbottle and school supplies for the new year. Hahah walked around for like forever looking for a nice walllet. I so badly wanted something in purple but NOO :( couldn't find anything nice in purple. I tried Tom and Stefanie and there was this glossy croc one. Don't like glossy croc too much so didn't want that. Went to this random store and there was this nice pink one but it cost $51.80. Made in China. Uhuh don't need that either lol. So I somehow ended up at metro looking through endless piles of BUM and Guess and Pierre Cardin and god knows what else. In the end I settled for a fortydollar guess. Wanted the purple one at first but it was signature logo print. Like the light brown logo print with purple embellish and glossy croc interior. And the word guess ofcourse. Didn't really like it luh cos I don't quite like signatures. And it too prim proper ladylike. Not rockstar enough. Hahah. Seriously! I really really wanted to get a BUM clutch for the same price but it was wayy too long and mom wouldn't approve of it cos I can't possibly put it in my pocket. Can't be carrying it around all the time either. Which reminds me, I think I haven't claimed my lock yet ohnooo! Yeah anyway, I ended up with this Guess by Marciano wallet in black. That's reasonably pretty, reasonably priced, shiny, verging on rockstar. But what the hell have I done man! I feel so bad now :( But I won't buy a new wallet till 2012 and I will prolly only buy a bag at the start of 2011... Prolly a sweater then too. Max 80 bucks. So okayy.. But I WILL get a clutch the minute I step out of JC! They're so pretty! :)

Now to go find new year greetings.. Hahaha

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i cant get no..

2009-12-29T11:46:00.002+08:00

Hellloooooo!

It's me again! Hahahh. So, today was CCAO day and for some reason its typical of me to post on CCAO days. Its amazing how different each year is.. I mean in Sec1 I was like wanna die already now, I've gotta pull through no matter what for the rest of em. Scary much?

And the lasts has already begun! Last CCAO in rgs :'( and Last farewell. The next one is ours... *sniffles* I can't stand this very much more..

CCAO was okay luh, was mostly doing performance and speaking with Ms Seah afterwards about future plans for ensem. Performance was okay I guess! Yin yun said it sounded quite nice! So phew! Cos I mean the standard during SYF was like upthere! So its hard to keep that up.. Farewell was okay yesterday, but I was so creeped out by the prospect of the Sec4s having to leave. Ohmans we're the new seniors :( This is disturbing.

Anyways.. I baked a chocolate cake and oatmeal raisin cookies for Christmas! Whoo it was quite nice! My dad actually liked it! All by myself kays! Lol! Didnt set anyone on fire! Now that is an accomplishment; no one died of food poisoning either. Starhub got screwed up recently/they offered a free preview of channels.. so I watched like Mamma Mia and Dark Night and a whole bunch of movies and and Shahid Kapoor on some Indian Reality Dance Show LOL.

Speaking of Reality shows, I cannot believe Sezairi won Singapore Idol man! OMG man! I was totally expecting Sylvia to win! :( Did you hear the Play That Funky Music (Adam Lambert style) he did? DISGRACE to adam I tell ya! Screaming like Adam is a gift man! And its stoopid that he got the single to be released. Pls luh, give RG Teachers' Band that song and they'll ownnnn him on it! I mean Mr Toh can pwn Sezairi's vocals on that song, any day.. Wanna bet? They shld go join idol instead -.- Grr. (P.S. Love the fact that his picture in Teachers' Band Gig on Arts Fest Day is displayed on the FRONTPAGE of the Rgwebsite :D Ubercool! :))

It felt quite nice to be in school that has stuff going on after so long today! Instead of ulu bradell westlake. Like teachers and people and all! Saw soo may nice people, its fun smiling and waving once in a while i guess =) Suddenly everyone's being nice to me! Hahahah suspicious! I can't believe how strangely sweet that one person (okay make that two) can make my day. I guess a smile goes a long way when its genuine luh huh.. I've said it before I'd say it again.. Ion is really pretty! ESP the toilet HAHAH. After four hours of walking around, I finally got a PURPLE sweater, from Uniqlo! Even if its plain, its reversible! :) Still need to find a wallet though, since Mom doesnt believe in clutches for wallets. Hahah.

Welll.. the new years coming and have to have a whole lot of resolutions ~~(that never work)~~

get a GPA that's at least a 3.6 next year!
actually pass physics decently and math too!
stop being so negative about every single damn thing
no more shedding tears excessively.. tears are precious!
stop talking like _____ and actually have one accent or way of talking that sticks; people tell me my accent varies like every 5 minutes, but that's ME for you! hahah

And the list goes on.. ttyl luh no time right now (:

black colour liner

2009-12-23T15:41:00.003+08:00

Okay.. it's official I'm a GLAMBERT!! :D

I just like got onto the AdamOfficial Community.

Adam is so mature and funny and sweet and all during interviews! And man can he sing! (: Hahah now.. to find a adamlambert skin and get some fanmail going..

Went for a walk this morning and saw this people jumping off parachutes. Like army people. In case you were wondering.. Hahah. Not random people. It was so cool! Like this army helicopter goin around and stuff.

Ooh its nearly Christmas Eve! I shall go shopping soon! (: I need to get like a sweater, a nike waterbottle, a wallet and a whole bunch of back to schoool stuff. Plus Christmas cards! Oh I wonder if they allow those really long jackets in school.. I mean obviously you can't come to school wearing a bolero (unless its prom teehee) but you can like wear those that go down to your thighs? There's a really nice one at metro and cotton on.. Or like stand collar coats or down jackets from like Uniqlo or someplaceelse.. Its nearly as long as my pinafore! I look like Dracula biiitch HAHAH.. Ooh and there's fleece for $29.90 and like cashmere cardigans... in Purple and Bright Blue.. UNIQLO.. here I come!!

Ugh I sound so bimbo. People are telling me I'm starting to sound like a cross between danny, adam and ___ oh no.. my life is screwedd D:

Oh and for those people who asked.. This is what my nails looked like during the wedding (:

(which reminds me I havent changed my fb dp yet ohno)

I wanna paint them purple again! (: LA Girl Rockstar Collection is the ♥

rgge exco only!

2009-12-22T18:51:00.005+08:00

Click to join EXCO_rgge

Hello! If (and only if) you are part of EXCO'09-10 click on this link to join the YG :D

Welcome to the ~~Black Parade~~ Oops I mean YahooGroup! ;)

don't be afraid

2009-12-13T13:08:00.005+08:00

Sooo... currently recovering my dad's laptop. STUPID thing! :O I hate Windows for a very good reason please! :) GRRR the installation damn genius luh.. not one but three cds to insert. :( Get a life already stupid VAIO :(( Hahah but anyway.. I wanna go jammingggg!! :( *sniffles*

Just realised that aftermath is really beautiful! :) Prolly my fav on the album. It's kinda sad that it's one of a kind. I can't wait for the whataya want from me video man! I love the way Adam said he'd make a video for every song if it were up to him. Hahahah. Hopefully this one is the next single! :D I like Adam Lambert lyrics! :)

Take a step before you leap
Into the colours that you seek
You give back what you give away
So don't look back on yesterday

Wanna scream out
No more hiding
Don't be afraid of what's inside
Gonna tell ya you'll be alright
In the Aftermath
Anytime anybody pulls you down
Anytime anybody says you're not allowed
Just remember that you're not alone
In this aftermath

Joe McElderry is such an amazing singer! And he's made it all the way to the finals man! OMG! And yet he's so down to earth and sweet! Really really hope he wins

pictures of you

2009-12-11T19:51:00.003+08:00

OHGOSH I just looked at all the old photos from our sec1 induction.. SO UNGLAM MY GOODNESS!! hahahah I am convinced that we all were overcome by some mystical spell and woke up looking gorgeous the next day luh! :O HAHAHAH I look like a FREAK. Ohkay I still do. BUT at least now I look like a distant cousin of Frankenstein; the similarities used to be more striking last time ._. And boy you start thinking, thank goodness I didnt have Facebook then man! Reputations, people! All of us have those don't we? :(

So juniors, you think you an ugly duckling now? Fret not, your seniors were worse you gonna grow into a swan soon! Ahahahah okay I am DAMN hyper right now! :D But omg its damn sad that the seniors are leaving :( I don't want them to leave :'(

bottoms up!

2009-12-11T18:55:00.004+08:00

Okay I promise this is the last post about Adam.. for the month! Kaykaykay? HAHAH ITS HILARIOUS! He giggles like crazy! It's freaking hilarious! :) Gotta love the guy

I

It matters to me

2009-12-10T15:44:00.005+08:00

Found this very interesting article online

It Matters To Me: Lambert's A Singer Not A Saint
by guest columnist Mike Collins

When you make a purchase, how much weight do you give to moral or political considerations? For example, do you choose your stylist, your doctor, your real estate agent with an eye toeards their after-hours activities? Do you mentally move away from the movie because of the lead actor’s activism?
I mention this because a frend and I were sharing our excitement about the American Idol tour coming to North Little Rock. Of course, he assumed rhat I was another ‘kick awesome’ Kris Allen fan. However when I told him that I was actually a bigger fan of ‘Rock god’ Adam Lambert, his response was, ‘ You like the gay guy?’
Well – I tried to explain, Adam’s a great singer and a real showman. He’s one of the best performers I’ve seen. I can’t say that I think of him as just the ‘gay guy’.
My friend was unmoved. ‘Didn’t you see him on the cover of Rolling Stone? He had a snake wrapped around his leg. The snake was heading…north’.
‘Sure. Famous people do all kinds of crazy photo shoots’.
‘Well, on Fox, Bill O’Reilly showed pictures of Adam kissing other guys’.
‘True, but I’ve seen photos of him in Brigadoon wearing a kilt. I don’t think that makes him Scottish.’
‘You’re telling me, even after the Rolling Stone interview, that you don’t believe Adam Lambert’s gay?’
‘No, I’m telling you that I don’t think of Adam Lambert as the gay singer anymore than I think of Kris Allen as the church singer. To me it’s all about the music’.
‘But don’t you think a CD purchase condones a lifestyle? I mean, Gangsta Rap has some pretty rough lyrics. You don’t want that around your daughters’.
‘If any of American Idol finalists produce a rap album, I’ll just say no. However if Adam Lambert sang a compilation of nursery rhymes, I’d buy it tomorrow.’
‘But you’re Christian. I think Christians ought to support Kris Allen’.
‘Kris Allen is a talented guy, but I don’t see the connection. Jesus ate with tax collectors but I don’t think he was promoting higher taxes.’
‘Are you saying that homosexuality isn’t a sin? It says in Leviticus…’
I cut him off. ‘Look’ I said, ‘did you read in the Bible where Jesus told people with a beam in their eye not to worry about getting the speck out of someone else’s? I mention that because I’m like a walking lumbreyard. If sin turned to wood, I could build a subdivision. Of course, The Bible also says something about the gluttony and sloth, but I’ve never seen teh Church protesting lazy fat people’.
My friend, a victim of too many Baptist buffets and Pentecostal potlucks, could only say
‘Doesn’t matter. People aren’t going to buy a record by a guy gay’.
I had to smile. ‘So, you don’t think people would buy a CD by Elton John, George Michael, Clay Aiken, Boy George, Johnny Mathis, Liberace, Lance Bass, Cole Porter, Stephen Sondheim, or Christian singer Ray Boltz?’
‘What’s your point?’
‘Just that these musicians sold millions of albums because people liked their music. I mean, I didn’t stop watching ‘How I met your Mother’ when Neil Patrick Harris came out’.
‘Doogie Howser’s not gay’.
‘Doogie’s not, but Neil is’
My friend got quiet. ‘I never figured you for a gay rights advocate. I guess you think they ought be able to get married too’.
I was tempted to express my hope that gays be forced to endure divorce and alimony payments like the rest of us, but I thought better of it. Instead, I just asked him, ‘You like onions?’
‘I love onions’
‘Well, onions make me sick. Same thing with jalapeños. However, if you like them, I figure that’s your business’.
‘Don’t you think people should take a stand, let their voice be heard?’
‘Sure, protest all you want, but I’m looking for a singer, not a saint’.
‘Well, what do you think of Obama?’
‘I thoughts we were talknig about music. How’d we get to politics?’
‘Well, I’m just curious what you think of Obama.’
‘He’s tall. I like a tall president. After Jimmy Carter, I won’t vote for any man that’s shorter than six feet.’
‘What about a woman?’
‘Well, compared to men, almost all women are short. Still, I don’t worry thay’re going to invade another country because they have a Napoleon complex’.
‘So, You’d vote for a female president?’
I laughed: ‘Sure, as long as she puts on eyeliner as good as Adam Lambert’

Its fairly interesting how everyone is running around screaming bloody murder at the slightest things! You support the gay guy? You know the gay guy? You TALK to him? They're human too come on! For one, there's this dude at Delifrance near my place who is slightly effeminate, but he's possibly the most efficient and the warmest to my family. The other day there were this bunch of teenagers giving him dirty looks and whispering behind his back, while he just kept his calm. And no one stands up for his rights, oh he's just they 'gay' one.. People out there who behave that way are strongly lacking in maturity. And that article? Half the arguments were fallacious! You could just pick them out! You're Christian, therefore you must support Kris! Wow, nice conclusion! Christopher whatever-his-name-is review of For Your Entertainment in the paper is so damn bias man! 2.5/5 You've got to be FREAKING kidding me! D:

After all this havoc, Britney Spears, Mariah Carey and female 'entertainers' can do whatever they want on TV because they're women and hence 'empowered' with this right to entertain. That's the pricetag duly affixed on them in the name of entertainment, by the media.

I say, people these days in general are on the verge of morphing into psychopaths. Skim through any paper and almost any article proves that.
And another - how Twilight fans ought to stop kissing cutouts to prevent the spread of Swine Flu.

What is this world coming to?

And what is Adam coming to? Best put in Ann Power's words in the LATimes, Outrageousness thats totally at peace with itself.

And the best line of the entire interview: I'm a little different; My dreidel spins the other way :)

of parmesan cheese

2009-12-10T14:55:00.003+08:00

So.. I'm gonna try something new.. Gonna try to bake.. HAHAH and hope and pray that I dont burn the kitchen down. We made raisin rolls and cupcakes in the past.. But gonna try parmesan oregano loaves and a chocolate cake soon! :D

Just watched this interview of Karthik on ETV Jhummandi Naadam and gosh he has a vibe of his own. He really does.. For instance, the interviewer says What a voice after he amazes with this ghazal and he says Thank God! And when she tells him he's acheived a lot, he says "No I've a long way to go! I'm still learning"
Man it is impossibly difficulty to find that sort of an attitude. And he's just 29.. Amazingly mature and talented beyond his years! And gosh Arere is such a difficult song! Whoa man! And he sang Billy Joel's Just the Way You Are at the end :) Hahah I still remember how awesomee he was at Chennai Rocks man! What a change from Classic Film Nite!

Ohbtw watched Twilight on YT.. wasnt as bad as I thought it'd be luh but its scary how Rob Pattinson is looking more and more like a vampire :( UGH Dont know if ill watch New Moon.

Aftermath is such a nice song! :) Must go learn how to play!

Maybe I'll use it for photo collage! Which I need to do by when again.. Ohcrap. Or if not I will use No Boundaries! Hmm maybe I'll dig into syf 07 album, concert at esplanade and facebook accounts seniors and rjseniors, shutterfly, hmm what else ohyeah! camp photos from attiya, arts fest.. prom nite, that should do the trick! ARGH we need to collate acoustic medley with Chengjing! If it works out okay, then we can use it for concert with a few changes! :)

I keep forgetting that I need to send emails and christmas e-cards GRRR I like sending ecards! Hahah I get interesting replies back! :)

ADAMM

2009-12-10T13:00:00.005+08:00

OMG ADAM'S EYES ARE SO PRETTY! Hahah its funny how I never crushed on him but his eyes are so pretty! I LOOOVE the makeup and no im not bimbo. Like, totally, not bimbo! hahahah but its true his eyes ARE pretty! The sparkly glitter under his eye is fabb!

Probably the best Adam Tribute video ever! Although it makes it look like all the women on set are in love with him! But they might as well be luh HAHAH.. You'd prolly get convinced that adam is from another planet luh!

And his Feeling Good performance was indescribably ACE!
Anyways I'm SOOO gonna send a letter and see if I get an autograph back.. it'll probably take a million years but I dont care! :D

physux

2009-12-08T10:30:00.005+08:00

Sooo.. had guitar yesterday from 9to12 and went to get bubble tea afterwards.. Its interesting how my eating habits are screwed man! I only eat breakfast around 12, eat lunch at 5 and dinner at 10.. People get a shock on msn when I go brb dinner at like 11pm.. Hahah. Ohwells. Next year is gonna be madness man! I just looked at all the subjects' SOWs online. Physics is gonna be a madhouse.. UGH. Why did I take it man.. okay nevermind, one more year and i'll kiss goodbye to it muahahahah

David Archuleta's Christmas album is AMAZINGGG!! :D I love Riu Riu Chiu man! Sounds so good when he sings it! AND AVE MARIA OMGOSH!!! Reminds me of Caroling all over again! :)

Shiny purple!

2009-12-05T20:40:00.002+08:00

OMGOSHH THIS IS SO AWESOMEEE! I just picked up a shade of LA Girl Rockstar Nail Lacquer!! The shades are gorgeouss!! I got the Punk shade! The rockstar one in goth black is the most gorgeous one of all but this one is a close second :D it's navy blueish purplish :D WHOOHOO! :) I wanted to get a purple but the purplest there are too lian. Not glam rock enough! Ahahah. I'm sooo gonna try their LA Girls flare Magnetism and Celestial!! Ahhh celestial is the ultimate glam. It's shiny lilac. Sighs. Maybe prom next year eheheh. And disco bright GLOWS IN THE DARK OKAYYY! :) AHHHHH okayokay enough nailpolish talk. Hehe I can go on forever!

OMG Adam Lambert was 250 pounds in highschool?! That is soo unbelievable. And Anoop Desai was big too! ohwells

Just borrowed Time Traveller's Wife :) Oh and Dad wants to make a movie soon. I am so glad! :) Cousin's wedding tomorrow. Finally picked an outfit. Some shiny red punjabi suit.

And I got a new iPhone case. More's Noel Collection! Ahahah I wanted the Chrome purple but couldn't find it. Got the rouge one in the end. The gold one didn't look that nice. The vogues collection is fabb! :) Ahahah and went for facial at la vie en rose that day. I hatee peninsula plaza man! That whole area is so weirdd my gooodness! :( the toilets are nasty. Ion toilets are heaven in comparison.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Eyebrows are complicated

2009-12-03T20:06:00.000+08:00

Hellowello worldd! :)

Hahah yesterday was quite entertaining.. Mom took me do threading. Thread my terrible bushy eyebrows! From this (""''_____""'') to (---___---) HAHAH SO FREAKING PAINFUL MAN!! But the aunty was super nice and super funny! At Selvi's in Little India Arcade :) Hilarious luh she went like 'nee azaga irrunkanum da athanale thaan', 'payapaduthu paaru', 'nalla pilla' and all! Hahah but I guess quite a few people think it looks a lot better now.. But I look funnily different. Well okay at the request of SOME people since "you havent posted pics in agessssssss

This is what it looks like now..

Okay I guess its relatively drastic when you compare these two (i used to have eyebrows that look like featherss :O) HAHAHAHAH I didnt want it too thin luh so.. yeah. My skin looks jaundiced in the this pic cos of the light... strange..:

Yeah well enough of my face, Im getting sick of it myself.. Mom's into the glamming up bangles earrings pottu mehendi thing so yeah.. :( and I wanna pick a colour for nailpolish! Purple doesnt go with the outfit :(( and black is offlimits duhh.. NOT turning into a bimbo okayy!

Man RS is so screwedd luh, at first we cant pick a date, get into quite a tiff over that, and then we come to a consensus, then we cant get the kitchen, thats still okay but we need the lab AND the kitchen on the same day GRRRRR.. :(

Ahhh I love Adam Lambert's albumm man! Aftermath is a really nice song too! Aiyah actually everything is nicee luh.. Had Masterplan stuck in my head the whole day yesterday.. And now its Sure Fire Winners :) Broken Open and Aftermath are really really nicee too! :) And I lovee the interview on Ellen Degeneres:) She really let him speak his mind.. and he was really really sincere.. OKay in my eyes, forgiven hahah I think he's having the hard time so I still love Adam Lambert! Hahahah and the even if the MTV Extended Play interview like sounds angsty and cocky though but Jim Cantiello is crazy hahah and its dramaa!! :) I reallllly wanna hear how suburban decay sounds like! I love the story behind the song thing! Pretty cool..

Adam Lambert is the ♥

I was born with glitter on my face

My baby clothes made of leather and lace..

I hate change

2009-11-28T00:33:00.001+08:00

I hate change. I do.
How everyone changes and you're stuck on the outside wondering where you went wrong. And how a change in time place or synergy can make you leave the ones you love.

I hate how when you change one note in the song, it'll never sound the same. Every pulse every reverberation must be the same. Or else it cannot be called the same. It won't be a symphony anymore it'd just be noise. Not music.

And that's what you say when the world you've grown to love as it is changes for the worse. And when it changes for the better, you embrace it.

That's what we humans are, hypocrites. That's the only thing that's not going to change.
I hate change. I do. Most of all,
I hate how you've changed.

Music again

2009-11-27T23:39:00.006+08:00

It's soo exciting that so many albums coming out soon... Like Adam's ! And Westlife's!

I mean controversial crap aside, he said it himself, he's not a babysitter, he's a performer. And yeah, it was overboard.. And I was screaming fallacy! fallacy! the whole time he was giving the early show interview.. Hahah. But he can do both, be ultimatum over-the-top and give a decent performance without doing extreme stuff.

The album is a grower, not a first-listen for sure.. Right now, I'm crazy over Whataya want from Me and Music Again.. For Your Entertainment maybee and If I Had You.. Hahaha I love the first verse..

So I got my boots on, got the right amount of leather. So I'm doing me up with a black coloured liner, And I'm working my strut but I know it don't matter.

HAHAH first song I've seen and actually liked about eyeliner! Hahah reminded me of adam, danny and all at once! I think Adam's post-idol sound is starting to sound like a britney spears that can actually sing :O its disturbing.. especially FYE and If I Had You.. And Music Again sounds kinda Mika-ish.. Fever sounds My Chem techno-ed up.. the angst is the same..But I guess from the F-f-fever you can tell its a Gaga track luh.. P-p-p-poker.. All same thing one. And Sleepwalker is beautiful but its a Ryan Tedder and OBVIOUS One-Republic sounding... broken open is nice too... that and soaked sound nice and Mad World ish and theatre! AWESOME! :) But I don't quite like how if you listen to samples, at least 50% of the album has got this techno-rock sound but ohwells.. like I said its a grower.. And some of the songs are an assured flop if someone like, say miley cyrus sang it -.- But adam's voice made them pull through. Ohh of course, the ultimate fav adam lambert song? Time for Miracles and No Boundaries!!!

How can you not love time for miracles? Okay yeah I was sobbing pathetically during 2012, but the ending credits were epiccc with adam's voice mann! :)

Tiny minded twotone suckers, same old faces make me shudder, Countless times I've screamed Oh Brother Where are you? I need someone to be my lover..

For your entertainment

2009-11-23T16:02:00.005+08:00

Baby you know that, maybe its time for a miracle..
Cos Adam Lambert's AMA performance was wayyy over the PG-13 rating! :O

And two days to the album, so I really hope this is not like badd publicity of some sort! It was way too theatre-musical ish for the AMAs I think, that is the primary problem. It was probably the most s*xual performance of the night more than anything! I mean whutt was with the kissing the guy on stage and practically sticking the girls face there? like I mean There. GROSSSS MAN!
I'm still a huge fan but ughhhh..

Watched a few Adam videos, like the KISSFM interview and the American Music Awards Interview! And the rehearsals for the performance. His sound check was freaking amazing luh compared to the performance. You've got such an amazing voice, why go and spoil it! :( But the interviews are wayy hilarious. He told one guy who promised that he had his back on the red carpet, to bring the nailpolish! And that performance was gonna be shiny, and glittery! LOL

I've been working my butt off, we've been recording like everyday, lots of meeting, lots of things to take into account. But I... I'm so excited, I couldn't be happier! This is like, this is like dress up, it's fun! I'm getting to play Rockstar! It's so much fun! *giggles*
- Adam Lambert

Okie okie enough Lambert talk. hahah. Had guitar today from 9to12.. Sian-ness man. I WANT MS GOH BACK :( hahah watching adam interviews reminded me of her.. the way they both laugh..

Grr more emails to send.. after all that rs emailing I'm quite sick of emails. I think I email too much :( Cos my teachers' label has at least 60 conversations, excluding guitar ones. And conversations can have emails from like 2-6 :O uh-oh

Man, facebook hacks are interesting man.. eheheh

i loved you forever

2009-11-21T01:50:00.006+08:00

Hello worlddd!

I'm so freaking relieved! Swear to god, a smiley hasn't made me this relieved in a lifetime :) YAY! Hahah ____ doesn't hate me anymore! :D PHEW man! I swear I couldn't watch those vids anymore, it was so ughh and I had no idea how I was going to face that person anymore man! Life lessons man.. I know that some people are avoiding me and probably bitching behind my back my now but I don't care, as long as I know I'm not to blame whatsoever. If you're getting so damn worked up try asking yourself why? Is it because you've done something entirely unacceptable?

Anw, went photo browsing on fb hahahah So many pics! And the seniors look gorgeous :) Aww man, i cannot believe we'd be the ones in prom next year :( So scaryy! I don't wanna leave rgs, don't know what I'd do out there on my own :'( But yes I realise photo spamming is a pre requisite of prom! LOL must must take lots of pictures, despite the unglamness factor! :O And w/teachers too! It's the very last time you'd get the chance to (1) take pics with them (2) upkeep some standards of glamness! Just realised that I havent been doing enough of either :( Talk about lame new year resolutions! Hahah

Just realised that This I Promise You is such a beautiful song. Fell in love with it at Talent Vogue (: It's very very sweet too.. There I go in boyband mood again, CANNOT believe im saying this about nsync

Ohh ohh...

When the visions around you,

Bring tears to your eyes

And all that surround you,

Are secrets and lies

I'll be your strength,

I'll give you hope,

Keeping your faith when it's gone

The one you should call,

Was standing here all along..

And I will take

You in my arms

And hold you right where you belong

Till the day my life is through

This I promise you

I've loved you forever,

In lifetimes before

And I promise you never...

Will you hurt anymore

I give you my word

I give you my heart (give you my heart)

This is a battle we've won

And with this vow,

Forever has now begun...

Just close your eyes (close your eyes)

Each loving day (each loving day)

I know this feeling won't go away (no..)

Till the day my life is through

This I promise you..

Over and over I fall (over and over I fall)

When I hear you call

Without you in my life baby

I just wouldn't be living at all...

And I will take (I will take you in my arms)

You in my arms

And hold you right where you belong (right where you belong)

Till the day my life is through

This I promise you baby

Just close your eyes

Each loving day (each loving day)

I know this feeling won't go away (no..)

Every word I say is true

This I promise you

Every word I say is true

This I promise you

Ooh, I promise you...

Made me think of something again... ArtsFest ♥

PISSED

2009-11-19T23:07:00.002+08:00

I'm feeling pissed off.

VERY pissed off.

Why does everything have to be wreaking havoc on my life?

:'(

Will you be there?

2009-11-18T00:16:00.003+08:00

Had a terrible day today, and I realised that its stressful situations where true friendships, care and affection do come through. I think I'm finally learning to count my blessings and see how lucky I really am..

Thank you to all the people especially my parents who've tolerated my nonsense all these years. THANKS Vicky for listening to all my rants and what not. I love you loads and I owe you one.

See ya tomorrow for our 2012 date! HAHAH.

In My Darkest Hour
In My Deepest Despair
Will You Still Care?
Will You Be There?
In My Trials
And My Tribulations
Through Our Doubts
And Frustrations
In My Violence
In My Turbulence
Through My Fear
And My Confessions
In My Anguish And My Pain
Through My Joy And My Sorrow
In The Promise Of Another Tomorrow
I'll Never Let You Part
For You're Always In My Heart.

I believe

2009-11-14T19:44:00.005+08:00

Today's my official 'can use the com the whole day ;)' So guess what I'm doing? Using the com :)

Watched Charis' parents' video of our performance last night and started crying tears of joy and pride and just tears.. hahah. There we go again. :) Just spammed some dude for accusing rgge of FAILING and using alto guitars to play chords. We're not that stupid luh friend. Get your facts straight -.- Went on a googling spree and googled arts fest and guitar like crazy! And googled teachers band too!! I think mr jtoh has an interesting influx of posts following that performance. Must've been phenomenal and he must be happy HAHAH. Makes me jealous luh, not that I don't have enough posts about me :P That I couldnt watch. Currently transferring t-band videos from vicky :D And skype is taking between 2-5 hours.. So here I am still holding on :P Telling myself, patience is a virtue -.- But people can be so very mean, one person talking about he wriggles shamelessly on stage and is unbelievably gay and all.. AND PUT HIS NAME SOMEMORE. I cried when I read that! I mean come on, you have your opinions but there should be a threshold to which such things can be tolerated! :(( Called me biased or blinded or fangirling or whatever luh, its basic manners please! :(

Just rang up the radio to dedicate no boundaries to rg guitar, artsfest people, teachers and all. I realised that it fits perfectly.. I mean look at this

Seconds hours so many days
You know what you want but how long can you wait
Every moment last forever if you feel you’ve lost your way
What if your chances are already gone
Started believing that I could be wrong
But you give me one good reason
to fight and never walk away

Here I am - still holding on!

Every step you climb another mountain
Every breathe its harder to believe
You’ll make it through the pain
Weather the hurricane
To get to that one thing

When you think the road is going nowhere
Just when you’ve almost gave up on your dreams
Then take it by the hand and show you that you can
There are no boundaries

I fought to the end to stand on the edge
What if today is as good it gets
Don’t know where the future’s headed
Nothings gonna bring me down

I’ve jumped every bridge and I’ve run every line
I’ve risked being saved but I always knew why
I always knew why

So here I am still holding on
Every step you climb another mountain
Every breathe its harder to believe
You’ll make it through the pain
Weather the hurricane
To get to that one thing
When you think the road is going nowhere
Just when you’ve almost gave up on your dreams
Then take it by the hand and show you that you can

You can go higher
You can go deeper
There are no boundaries
Above and beneath you
Break every rule coz there’s nothing between you
and your dreams

That's exactly what artsfest is.. You put in so much effort, you spend forever rehearsing, you're filled with self doubt whether you're up to par or not.. and you wonder what is it that makes you not wanna give up..

I think this artsfest has taught me really a lot of lessons, not just about organization or performing but about life. After all that was said and done, the first thing I thought of was the very first positive comment anyone ever told me about arts fest.. "I'm sure Arts Fest is a rewarding and fun experience, so the practices are worthwhile," in an email from Mr Toh and how I reacted to it at that point in time. I was so skeptical, but gosh was he right... Thanks Mr Toh.. And it was then that I started believing.. that there was this thing called fate, and that there was this thing called faith. And another called self-belief...

p.s. i love you

2009-11-14T02:27:00.018+08:00

ARTS FEST IS AWESOMEEE..

The experience, well i mean i really did shed blood, sweat and tears into all this.. We all did. Personally for me, shed more tears than I would have liked to but in the end it was all so amazing.

Since I never got to say it, let me recap all that happened over the past two days, if I can remember that is.

So here goes, on November 12th 2009, at 0000hrs, I was up packing stuff and tagging photo orders for seniors and thinking ohmygod the day is finally here. Still can't believe it. And I STILL want to go for teachers band damn it. Went to school around 0650 and started looking for seniors. Found Wen Yan and whined to her for a while. Saw Grace Keoy a few. Saw Teachers Band like a million times, and I felt like kicking myself for being in artsfest and missing the No Boundaries performance he was gonna do that day. Started running around to get the Guitar Room key. Got all the stuff in and went to gym. Started looking for juniors and figuring who wasn't around. Got stuck singing the national anthem in the track cos of that. It was quite hilarious actually cos there were people all around the track looking like we were getting ready for a baton passing race. Felt so bloody stressed, sticky and sweaty in the gym waiting for further instructions. And Maria lost her guitar and got scolded.. I was so pissed off i tell you, I mean after all we had put into this, regardless of the outcome I didnt want anyone that I loved to be put in this condition. Cos we slogged our asses off these past weeks. Buses were delayed majorly cos they were having assembly in the parade square and buses couldn't enter. So we exited through the athena gate, sucking on ice pops from Ms Seah and the buses turned out of school, just as an excited school population scurried towards the hall.. That was really too much for me luh, cos I really REALLY wanted to be over there. And I was thinking, what on earth did I do to be stuck here, why can't I be over there.

But man I'm telling you, it was just a matter of time before all that changed. I don't know how it happened even till now. We had rehearsals, sound checks and lights where we met Ms Ruth Ling the AWESOME, ohmygee I still cannot believe how amazingly down to earth, funky and cool she is after having achieved so much! We were backstage giving the AVPA hell cos we had to spin the guitars and couldn't have clip ons taped to us. We really owe you guys one for helping us so muchh! :) Thank goodness they got it sorted with Ms Ling and all... I was shaking on stage cos for one, it was damn cold and besides, they miked up the guitaron and the moment I plucked one note it started going BOOMZ! Hahahah I was so nervous that it sounded crappy or that I wouldn't sound good until she walked over and told me 'That thing sounds awesome. I love it man! I'm very happy!" That one comment made me want to have the confidence, to do this and get it right. I mean sometimes, even if it may hurt when the people whom you would think would appreciate you don't appreciate you, but the people whom you least expect would actually think you matter the slightest bit. Makes you feel like you're on top of the world. And then Ms Khoo started getting all intrigued by it. Hahah. Then we went on for lunch and second set of rehearsals which were slightly better than the first. At this point in time, I was sitting there thinking, okay maybe this is not so bad after all, even though I'd really like to watch T-band? HAHAH. Yes I'm a hugeeee fan I admit it :) After they had us take a nap and do makeup and all.. And then it happened. I don't know how, why or what. I only know who.. and yes you, rgge, I love yall forever.

We all started getting so damn high! Singing songs, jamming doing crazy things, playing games. And then I realised what it meant to be, to know where you belong, for once in my life I did.

Okay the songs, even if I looked like I was pissed off, no I wasn't it just fairly amusing to have 30-odd people singing songs about you HAHAHAH. Flattering much? Lets see we had Abi loves pink forever, No Abi No Abi but You, In your head (Abi), Abi girl (instead of barbie girl), We will we will Chua you and all sorts of stuff. And people were getting high over them and videoing them to put on fb and doing funny things. I was knighted the Abi Lambert of guitar, cos of the poofy hairdo after Ms Seah gelled it. Courtesy of Maria, RachYo, Cheng Jing and the lot of them. We were so freaking hyper before going on stage, taking photos and camwhoring, and screaming for the tiniest reasons. Taking photos with Ms Goh and ringers And when we went on stage we were really smiling, from our hearts. Au naturale.

I guess when you're happy everything falls perfectly in place. Its the way you see things. We went on stage and worked it man. It was so amazing that we sounded that good (: Selina was high too :D And we looked so happy. We went back feeling so damn good, and Ms Goh was being so sweet and hyper and all! She wore green eyeshadow for us! ;) Even ms seah was nice to us and she told us that she forgot herself and cheered for us after the performance :D And Ringers were so crazily wacky too! :D Ringers + Guitar; the personality uh same to same hahahah :) And for finale we had lightstix and all, and people went crazyyyy afterwards. So we all went home and I got yelled at majorly for screwing my phone battery and started crying on the bus which was malu cos I was a BRIGHT GREEN, CRYING TEENAGER in ALIEN GREEN makeup. HAH. But I couldn't sleep till 3am! Was so freaking hyper!

Ahahah.. Day 2 was quite slack luh.. Went to school around 10.40 today and started looking for seniors and stuff. Walked around sec4 busking booths for a while! So cool! And then went to accompany Vicky to find her camera and look for Mr d. Then we all got shipped off too UCC.

And we had lunch.. HAHAH. Sounds anticlimax right? ohwells.. and then we had to go for debrief and all, dress rehearsal. And then routine from yesterday. Gel hair, poke hair, put makeup, check hair again, camwhore, eat something, put more make up, camwhore somemore, delete unglam pics, start going crazy, go on stage, ROCK it out, go even CRAZIER, pack stuff up and go home... And there's a lot more to it than that.. =)

The pre-show was a lot less hyper besides the putting on makeup and camwhoring. I let RachYo and Alagu straighten my hair hahaha. Quite glam actually. Second time in my life that I did it :) And they started combing it like I was some barbie doll or something. HAHAH and then we had more fun, more songs like Spongebob squarepants in my name. Somehow. HAHAH. and then we went on stage, slightly less hyper than yesterday.. We managed to figure out I Don't Love You and all though. AND JAM ON GUITARON! Cheena song AND VIVA LA VIDA!! ON GUITARON! I bet no one's though of that before! HAHAH Yeah man! :D Before that, Ms Goh came in one last time to say thankyou for letting her have the opp to work with us and made a very sweet touching speech. And both of us, me and rachel wanted to cry. I did in the end :( She gave us THREE cakes from awfully chocolate!! One read, 'Bravo rgge', '=)' and 'Thank you' AHHHHHH! :( People actually laughed at our hey-yeah, and started clapping for the spin guitars thing! :D :D :D IT WORKED MAN! HAHAHAHAH. I was so happy! :) We thought yesterday was better when we got back to the dressing room cos Mr chua said it was only okay, but nonetheless were so-so happy. AND THEN ms goh told us, girls did you know someone shouted bravo from the audience. And no, it wasn't me! AHAHAHAHAH It was epic I tell you. We were so happyyyyyyyyyyy! :D Then cut cake and lick cake and people (rachel licked me :O) and went to deliver Ms Goh a slice. She kept going no its okay i just had i just had. So I said ms goh you must share our happiness! And rachel and I started persuading her and she said awww okay! hahahah And then charmaine came along and looked at the cake in her hand, so ms goh covered it with her palm and said 'mineeee.. ' and started laughing in her crazy way! I LOVE her laugh! its so contagious! :) And ms goh told us to hold it together for ensem and all. And took pics with us. Really really gonna miss her! and Ringers too! :'( Dont wanna go back to stupid braddell westlake. The whole time afterwards I was going OMG I LOVE MS GOH! HAHAHAH. I do! Platonically duh! But she's probably the best thing that happened to us this artsfest and we're so very grateful to have her around :) Where was I? ohyeah then we had to go for finale and the audience was going crazy when they turned out the lights during amigos and the light stix were around. I still love my wolverine one :D HAHAHAH And then the 130 balloons dropped down from UCC and they started throwing them toward us. Ms Rani Singam is SO hyper too! She sang school song with so much gusto it was inspiring! :) And rafflescheers were awesomezx man! It was probably suchh a kodak moment to have a shot of the fists in the air at the end of Unite, gave me goosebumps.. Got flowers from a bunch of people, hahahah thats like a halfpun :P Thanks Mr De Souza & Vicky! although the dressing room scene caused me quite a lot of teasing ._. hahahah And guitar seniors!!! :D Doesn't matter if the rose is frayed xin min, its the thought that counts :)

[Update/151109]: OMG TEACHERS BAND IS DAMN AWESOME MAN! Just watched vicky's videos of the entire show! :D MR NUH'S GUITAR SOLO IS AMAZINGGG MAN! Ohmygoshh! I never knew he was THAT pro! :) HAHAH AND MY MOM THINKS NOBODY SOUNDED SPANISH! I think it was english right! HAHAH But oh whatever, the dancing uh, ultra-cute man! I think they just beat wondergirls! HAHAHAH.. The layered chorus and the whoa oh oh things are super nice! :) AND OMG mr josephtoh's vocals at the bridge and last chorus of no boundaries was crazy awesome! :) We've got the awesomest teachers in RG EVER!

l'amore eterna rgge <3

2009-11-13T00:57:00.003+08:00

RG ARTS FEST OWNS MAN! <3

Today was freaking awesomee.

Okay in the morning I was super depressed that I wouldn't watch teachers band. But seriously rgge, your hyperness and amazingness changed my mood altogether. We all suddenly got so hyper, and despite all the screwed rehearsals, we ACED it yall. Love you guys loads.

And I know that when I smiled tonight, it wasn't fake it was genuine. There's so many things I wanna say (like how cool the Ms Ruth Ling 'girl' is :D) but I don't have time right now..

So I'll just say one thing:

Everything is okay in the end, if its not okay its not the end.

Day1 was awesome, but you and I both know Day2 is gonna be awesomer. Let's give it all we got darlings :D LOVE YALL <3

Arts festttt

2009-11-11T22:44:00.001+08:00

ohmygosh i just watched rinson's performance on bvg. he got injured pretty bad on his lip and kept shouting 'continue the music, i'll dance'! gosh..

on the eve of arts fest, it just teaches you what being performer is all about man! whoa.

don't think i can update tmr considering that we'll get home really late... see how if i can squeeze time :)

Runaway with my heart

2009-11-11T20:48:00.007+08:00

Ohmygee I'm listening to wherever you will go and thinking about how damn good teachers' band is gonna sound singing it :( Apparently lidia and gang heard mr toh singing it that day and i can assure you 200% he sounded AWESOME on it without even listening :((

ohno there i go into depression again..

If I could, then I would go wherever you will go... but I can't :(( Lame right? HAHAH

What hurts the most is being so close and havin' so much to say (Much to say) And watching you walk away.. Ahh why does everything fit? HAHAHA OMG this is bad :(

And now what makes a man.. I swear I won't cry, even as tears fill my eyes, I swear I won't cry DARN.

And now that's what friends are for.. ohmygod this is terribleeeee.. he sang it for 205 i think last time :((( okay my itunes is being MEANNN to me... fantastic now wonderwall :( damn it

But for starters, I will SURELY cry during no boundaries so better not go uhoh hahahah

All the way rgge <3

2009-11-11T17:37:00.009+08:00

HELLOO WORLD :D probably last post before artsfest. TOMORROW! Whoa hard to believe..
Well.. she replied but we still can't go for teachers band :( Nevermind! We can always ask Mr Larry to get the entire gang to guest star at guitar nite next year righttt? :D AND ENCORE NO BOUNDARIES OHMYGEE.
Look at my life friends.. the various phases I go through.

Excitement
HYPERventilation
Depression
Denial
Self-consolation...

Target goal?: Acceptance (someday, someway soon i hope hahah)

Ohwell, I'll depend on YouTube and FB; but I don't mind if anyone wants to help me video :D Eheheh
I'll be internally, externally, vertically, horizontally, diagonally grateful to you! :D :D :D If that's even possible heh. But really! :)
You can just spam my email, I'd prolly send you a bouquet and chocolates and a teddy bear in return :D Now, I know you want that teddy bear.
(It is at this point in time that I want to apologize, I'm sorry, I have officially lost it altogether.

TOMORROW IS ARTS FEST DAY 1! ZOMG! :O Scaryzx! hahah. Yknow I have this queasy feeling that teachers read my blog. It's scary really... maybe i shouldn't blog about teachers. But i mean come on, school is all i have going on right now.. So I blog about it luh, makes sense what, right? Hahah and I have a 'only good stuff (fangirling included) policy' lol so yay :D

~~(Can you tell, I sound absolutely out of my mind eheheh)~~

Just went to my new physics tutor's place. He seems pretty good, I should mention, ex-RI boy HAHAH. Ego clash much? No luh jk nothing wrong with being from RI. we're all gonna be RI girls someday :P hahah.

I've got rhythm is stuck in my head right now! Oh and before I forget we (i.e. guitar) had a really awesome session with Mr Rosa from Pascoe Vale Girls' College. Jazz guitar is ultimatum awesomes man! Although the solo-ing was NERVE-WRECKING man. But he was so encouraging and positive, and I think that was exactly what we needed before tomorrow :)

Okay after arts fest must settle:

Sec4 farewell (ICS)

Sec4 farewell (guitar)

RS RS RS RS Ohmygosh (my lit review hanging halfway ohno)

Physics & Math & Chem & Bio

Theory classes

Guitar classes

Just for my reference luh, I'm gonna lose it altogether..

By tmr must get done,

stuff for guitar, ringers and teachers

seniors' photos.

consolidate free days

hmm yup kays

ARTSFEST, HERE I COME :D

let's go rgge, all the way <3

Wherever you will go

2009-11-11T00:09:00.005+08:00

Okay it's confirmed, Teachers Band is from 8.15-9.15.
All those lucky people get to watch them while we're at rehearsals at UCC. I'm kind of looking forward to artsfest now; total change of attitude from last time.
But really, this is sad.. WAYYY sad :(
Why does this HAVE to happen! :(( They were rehearsing today in the hall. Darn, I really felt like whiningggg to mr toh today :(( Now I'll never get to see him sing no boundaries. I was thinking of passing my handy cam to yufei but there's still nothing comparable to watching all this live.. COMEON GRAND FINALE IS NOBODY OKAY! HAHAH And mrs anis is gonna be there rightttt! SOO, we should stay till she's free :D
Okay i really dont know why im so psyched over this luh. I might be going a bit cuckoo up there but ohwells, there's nothing like moshing or the whole school going crazy to teachers band.

And then I started thinking about what if I'd never come to rgs and I never knew about them.. Then I'd live life with no regrets. But no.. here I am, still holding on to that tiny hope that we'd get to watch this..

I shall try my luck emailing Mrs Anis and see what she says..
Please please please please god!

HeartAche on Wheels

2009-11-10T10:04:00.002+08:00

Ms Ng just broke my heart that teachers band is from 8-9 on thursday! :'( UNFAIRRR

All we'll get to see is like teachers rocking out from the frosty glass panes of the bus. Heartache on wheels much? *sniffles* okay I need to shutup.

But jokes aside I'm soo shocked about mr Larry. I had this bad feeling something was going to happen to him :(( so scary!

But this can't happen :(( BLAH I shall go ask mr d. Or there's always.. Okay no I won't consider that possibility.

I saw a lot of interesting sights ytd. Like this guy skidded on his bike cos of the wet road and he presumed it was because of the car driver too close to him. He freaking flicked him without a second thought man! :O

And a certain someone was walking around eating chocolate yesterday. And I walk out of school to see a toddler wearing purple doing the exact same thing. Exact same expression. HAHA. It was so funny! The other pedestrians must have thought I was mad. But it is funny when coincidences happen.

I wanna go for teachers band! :( More than I wanted to go for My Chemical Romance. Hah. There we go. Read my dec 07 posts and you'll know how crazy I was and how crazy I am!

My Sister's Keeper

2009-11-09T20:46:00.004+08:00

AHHH Watched My Sister's Keeper today! Awesomee show! I cried bucketloads over it. Vicky and I were practically having a sniffles orchestra down there. And the teachers were rightt behind us! :O but who cares!! It's a beautiful movie!

And then went for batch lunch at the food court and later for dessert at Macs! And CCA at school -.-
Was quite okay luh like all the lamee jokes about how PDQ Bells suddenly became the Abi song.. I was fascinated. Maria is fascinating lol Ohwells.. the HEY and the YEAH is awesome!! Love yall loads! :)

I'm trying to sort out schedules right now... CoNfUsInG!! I mean there's guitar, physics tuition, math tuition, guitar classes, _____'s guitar lessons ROFL ;)

And who on EARTH is _______... SCARY MAN! MY TAGBOARD D:

My mom is the awesomezx man! She's willing to ferry me from school to UCC by 1.15 so that I can watch Teachers Band in the event that it clashes :D I LOVE YOU MOMMY! Hahahah thats what I texted her after the movie. Noo idea why. I am randommm!

Dont think ill get time to blog in time to come :(

How does life go on?

2009-11-08T16:13:00.004+08:00

I'm feeling jealous right now. And unwanted.

Doesn't help to feel both at the same time does it?

I mean why is everything I'm doing so freaking screwed up and everything you do so wonderful?

What did I do to deserve this, or what haven't I done to not deserve what you have?

How do you feel special and wanted and confident even?

Why do you have to leave? And why now? Why not some other day?

Do you remember?

2009-11-06T17:29:00.008+08:00

Today was Farewell Assembly + Progress Reports & Class Party..
Quite fun luh! There was CCA Handover Ceremony followed by the Sec4 teachers and their classes on stage.. They all looked so happy and all; and i bet the seniors probably got a heart to heart talk with their FTs and CLETs. And the graduation song which was quite nice and school songs and school cheers and all.. And then they played Graduation Song by Vitamin C and I realised that a whole lot of seniors started crying. I nearly did too! And I'm not even graduating! Like Mr Choo said, goodness knows what I'll be like at this time of next year! I don't even want to think about leaving RGS. I mean we all do procrastinate, but there is a special connection we feel to this place when we walk through those gates every morning happy or sad, sleepy or hyper. And leaving all that you've known for four whole years of your life and going away is hard. Of course rgs is made of its people not just bricks and mortar, but when you walk through that hallway you can feel the vibes of the people who've been there. And I'll miss the teachers too..

And I haven't taken enough pictures! HAHAHAH I'm trying to break the emo spell and sound a bit more bimb (and fail drastically heh) I realised when I saw a whole bunch of seniors approaching teachers for photos and all. And people camwhoring like there's no tomorrow hahah :) Ohwells but I still don't want to be Sec4. I don't want to hit my senior year. I don't want to have to leave this place and all the wonderful people. I want this life today and forever, just the way it is. I wouldn't mind if everything ended this way, right here right now. Cos if not I know that I'll never be able to live life without regrets. Ohno there I go again with my crapload of nonsense.

Gaahh anyway yeah then went to deliver Physics papers with Charmaine. The 314 thing was EMBARASSING!! jeez -_-

Ohyeah times of your life is actually quite nice. Mr toh, mr Larry and all the sec4 teachers were singing it today. I swear to god the words can make me cry buckets in the state I'm in right now. And it's soo sweet how Ms doreen tan said 'We wish all your dreams will come true' That has got to be the sweetest thing ever, really! And Mrs Hoo's little story and all, it was extra special.. And I wonder how our graduation will be. Yet I don't want it to come..

Gosh ArtsFest week is coming right up! I'm determined to make this a blast somehow, someway. Total change of attitude don't you think.. hahah.. We owe so much to Ms Goh man! She was telling us that day about how performing is really about passing your energy on to the audience... gosh it reminded me so much of Michael Jackson (well and someone else but I shant say who :))

Some people inspire really.. Others just deserve to expire -.- (ANTICLIMAX HAHAHAH)

Two Words: Teachers' Band

2009-11-04T22:26:00.005+08:00

OHMYGOSH OHMYGOSH OHMYGOSH OHMYGOSH OHMYGOSH OHMYGOSH

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Got that off Rgswebsite!!! And TEACHERS BAND IS SINGING

No boundaries!!!!, Wherever You Will Go, What Hurts the Most

Wonderwall; I'm Yours; Sk8terboi; You Belong With Me

Nobody!!

This is like my ipod please!!! :D

OMFG for some reason I had this mental image of Mr Toh singing no boundaries that day.. now i REALLY hope and pray that comes true man! OMFG!!! I really really wanna be there! okay I sound like I'm fangirling but its gonna be damnn awesome and we'll only be around from 8.30 to 11! AHHH Im going to go freaking crazy! I'll cry if I dont get to watch man! I mean I've sacrificed enough for ArtFest; Cmon not this!

I think Teachers Band is TOTALLY AWESOMEZX! People are gonna give me the 'ooooooooh' look but I don't care; they are amazing!

I'm just gonna hope and pray that we cant leave without Mr Larry & Mrs Anis and therefore, HAVE TO WATCH THIS!!

Hold On

2009-11-04T15:56:00.004+08:00

Helloooo world! It's been quite a fun few days but a tight one too! I guess I can say I'm trying hard to keep the negativity out of my life but it's hard sometimes. Ohwells.

Monday was class karaoke which was suuper last minute. When we got to the actual place we realised that we were like one of the only classes that wasn't in costumes or props -.- which is quite a pity cos a lot of people in 307 can actually sing (like Gi Won)!! :D Tsktsk we could have possibly owned it if we actually prepared like a day or two beforehand ._. 309 was ace with Beat It and Smrithi as MJ!! AWESOMEZX SONG! And 301's stunts were pretty cool too! :) didn't have any teacher specialities like last year though cos Mr De Souza and Mrs J were judges. Hahah darn we couldve just asked for an encore of Girlfriend from Mr D :P Genre? YouTube hits Hahahahah it's such a classic together with class karaoke from last year hehe

Then Tuesday was a fulldress at UCC. The place is super pretty and getting down a nice air conditioned coach with your shoulder bag and guitar case you'd feel like you're checking into a posh hotel hahahah. Really! And the dressing room mirrors are suuper glam! Hahah everyone was being so amused.

But of course, not everyone in your life likes to see you cheerful carefree or smiling just every once in a while do they? Some people just discredit their actual duty and decide to take it out on us if something goes wrong. Cannot stand the stinking attitude. And i swear to god it's going to be one helluva ride at the end of next year.

To those people who keep telling me not to be stressed, thanks for the concern really :) Ill try to work on it but it's going to emotional turmoil if I hold it all inside. I'm quite an emotional person, like. So I just take some things to heart when they really should be in one ear and out the other. I mean some people chide you for every damn thing you do and accuse of not being responsible and then start being so saccharin sweet to their darlings it stings you really..

And the best part is you can't fight back and you can't say no, I have the right to not give a damn what you say so watch your language or anything like that. All because of this thing called political correctness people have to kowtow to others. It really becomes quite ironic eventually why on earth the word 'correctness' is really there. Is the action really right? Is the sufferance justified.

And most importantly, will there ever be salvation?

THIS IS IT <3

2009-11-01T00:07:00.008+08:00

Ahhhh I loved it!! And it made me so sad thinking why he had to go so soon! I mean the man was so commited and passionate and sincere towards his music and his fans. And he was such a musical genius!

And as a performer it really teaches you a lot about performing and commitment to the audience regardless of who they may be.. In short it was,

inspiring, ingenious, invigorating & indescribable..

Oh and I finally cut my extremely longg thick hair.. But now its layered and so shaggyish and thin and ugly and not straight. Then again layers are never straight unless you rebond luh but I miss the super long thick straightness. I mean it was so thick that they were forced to thin it; or else layering will make me look like a POOFball! ahahah. So yes thin hair.

First time in my life that a thin scrunchie can go around my hair.. Ohno this is bad D: BLEH.

Having a sorethroat now D: Hopefully it goes off soon luh I can't go on with one for the next few days.. Until Arts Fest is over at least..

Yknow I wonder if I blog about teachers like the most in the entire universe lol. Hahahha Only the good stuff so I suppose it's not a bad thing.. OH OH AND I FIGURED OUT WHAT THE FIRST SONG THEY SANG WAS! ITS CALLED 'This I Promise You' by NSync! YAY :D

What is that song!!

2009-10-31T12:24:00.004+08:00

Ohmygosh I'm dying to know what the song MrOw sang was! hahahah I have it on video but I cant figure what song it is.. sounds so familiar yet so distant! And its stuck in my head!! ARGH. hahah

I shall go look for that one, I Believe, Where I Stood and Adam's new song called For Your Entertainment! Ahahah

Adam has had two songs now Time for Miracles & For Your Entertainment WHOO!

Going to watch This Is It today!! :D YAYYYYY! I'm preparing the tissue to go along with the popcorn hahah

Talent Vogue!

2009-10-31T01:04:00.007+08:00

Rehearsal was absolutely terrible today ._. I was extremely disappointed over it cos like we couldnt be heard; guitaron was brought over but I didnt even know what my part was supposed to be; we had no mikes; we were stuck in the KSChee and we obviously couldn't do choreo properly; a bunch of us didnt know choreo; we weren't confident enough to pull it off; we felt like we were the most screwed out of the lot... And I ended up breaking down after that

And I don't know what I'd have done without Ms Goh mann! I mean she's not our instructor; she's just the instructor of the CCA we're combining with and she was the one to comfort me and rachyo and tell us it was okay. And tell us that it was okay; Not to give up.. goshh.. that was the one thing that kept me alive through it all. She is AWESOME MAN! :D

Got schedules for the rest of the days too. Finale sounded pretty crap but ohwells. And she helped us with choreo and everything :))

But Talent Vogue totally made up for it!!

Miley Cyrus, listen here, Mr Ow & Teachers Band just put you to shamee muahahahah! Teachers' band was ultimate awesomees! Even though still quite sad Mr Toh didnt sing hahah. The people around me were going eh no mr toh! They sang four songs; I've got one of them on video but the quality is hopelesss.. They sang I Believe by Blessed Union of Souls!! THE INTRO IS SUPER NICEEE!!! And then I'm Yours & The Climbb!! The whole hall went crazy at the last song!! :D Was like waving arms and jumping people, on chairs and all.. It was so much fun with Melissa, Yujia, Wan Shuen (yes I missed you hahahahhah),Nicole and Mel's sis too; both the pre and during talent vogue hahahahh.

Nicole & WanShuen were awesomeeeee singing Poker Face and Where I Stood by Missy Higgins! :D And there was Hanis & Amalina who were pretty good too! And rgdancers and a violinist duo playing classical gas DAMN PRO man! That song is harddd! And saw Reshmi after like half a century lol! (:

Quote of the day:

R: I'll go ask the kueh...

R: The kueh is busy

A: Tell her to come soon!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Tech Run D:

2009-10-30T10:00:00.006+08:00

Okay I was in uber depression mode yesterday..

A bit better now but later is going to be the ULTIMATE stress! Cos they decided to make the tech run into a stupid assessment.

And I find it quite ridiculous cos I mean I've been performing for like more than 5 years in Choir + Guitar and that is NOT the attitude you take to a performance. You're there to enjoy yourself and play your heart out. That smile on your face at that moment in time is going to reach all the way to your audience, but only if its radiant enough. That's what makes a good performance; establishing that connection.

And this whole assessment thing practically dehumanizes the spirit of the performance. I mean SYF is way over okay, even though I'm not over it but I mean come on.. this isn't what performing is about.

And I couldn't wait for Interclass Karaoke on Monday.. couldnt being the keyword. Until I realised that my class doesnt even have a manager. I bet the teacher/ic is prolly gonna come hantam us and he really can't be blamed! Its an awesomee idea to plan such a thing for us as well! And I mean last year was freaking hilarious man! The videos and all! And our class is gonna flop it all! D: I really dont want that to happen. And all the bunch of us ever do as a class is play cards -.- Dont think Im complaining without reason; cos if I was actually free I would have gladly been manager or whatever for it but obviously i cant go down to meet mr yeoh today cos i've got rehearsal till six today =.= and talent vogue later :D

Maybe this should end..

2009-10-29T22:56:00.004+08:00

I'm making you sacrifice your dreams

No one cares about mine

I'm creating problems in this house

Just cos I break down once in a while

The only reason I show you my frustration

Was cos you're the only one who wouldn't hate me if I did

Or so I thought

But now I know that all you cared about was you and you alone

I'm trying to figure out where I went wrong

Cos I want to know what I've done

Maybe it's time for all this to end

Your sorrows and your pain

Maybe it's time for life to end

My life, just for your gain

busyyyy

2009-10-28T23:46:00.007+08:00

Bahh I'm officially dying here.. Got a lott of stuff to figure out for ArtsFest.

Like finale item, and purchasing straps.

And I've got NO CLUE where to get it from. And we need them by Friday D:

My life is sad.

But still, I'm actually starting to get slightly more enthusiastic about ArtsFest :D So whoo! Hahah I think its the aftermath of combined prac luh. The instructors are soo funny! And nice! :)

You've got yourself..

2009-10-23T22:23:00.005+08:00

I nearly cried today at Ms Tsang's little speech today cos all those words were the same words that I'd been hoping were not lost, the last ones that I was holding on to. And it was so uplifting to hear a few positive words after all the crap I had gone through And I was one person on this earth who knew exactly how I was feeling without us even saying it. And I found myself wishing just like I had with Ms Regina Lee. Why couldn't she be our tic. And then the comments come 'guitar should learn from them' guitar should this guitar should that. Ringers I swear to god you guys are one of the ccas that I admire totally and all the more why are we put down and demeaned right in front of you guys. What did we to deserve this? I mean you can diss me all you want but don't diss the people I love.Mrs Tan's speech and the little videos were so inspirational at that point in time and I felt so comforted to hear myself out. That no GPAs are not the end of the world and that imperfections do exist in this world around us but we still can do our best. Sticks and stones will hurt my bones but words will never hurt me. There's absolutely no truth in that. Cos words are the worst things anyone can ever tell you.

And the best.

But people in our society, in our world, how many of them want you to feel good? 10%? Less?

Sometimes nothing matters, and no one cares.

And you're left alone, against the world.

You've got yourself and no one else.

2009-10-22T16:29:00.005+08:00

Hellloooooo! =)

Hahah just realised Danny Noriega uses those smiley faces!

First day today that I actually had to run an entire self-practice session without Mr Chua at all!! I swear to god I was scared to death! Hopefully it didn't show lol But really! Cos we were working out the intro section of the song and it was kind of off-time and I was thinking Omgosh what do I tell them to do nowww! Hahahahah there were soo many things running through my mind at that point in time. And Ms Seah's 'impending doom' thing was pretty ROFL! HAHAHAHAHAH But I guess its true and its pretty good that she gives us an audience's perspective.

Scheduling is impeding my brain growth though... Cannot tahan already luh.. Must send out by tonight... Perseverance... I just forgot how to spell it oh the irony!

Oh and Mr Toh's not singing for talentvogue :( Darn hahah but there's still TEACHERS' BAND :D Part of it at least heheh Should ask Mr Larry :)

2009-10-21T22:28:00.002+08:00

Got all my results back! And thankfully I only failed one. Physics D: D: D: D: D: Got 15/70

Die manzx. Mr D says I should go talk to Mr Chang.. Or I'll suffer in Sec4 this is terrible man.

2009-10-20T21:36:00.004+08:00

WHOA man I just finished doing a whole load of admin trash for guitar. I feel accomplished :D

And I got a new to-do list that's LONGERR than ever. Gee..

Soo many rehearsalss! Today was Day 1 out of 26 SIGHS

But I'll persevere. It's key to survival man! Ohman reminds me of evolution

Surprisingly EYA results were not too bad this morning (YES GOOD LUCK CHARM!! :D :D :D) hahahah. Got back Lit (which was an ace qn 2 and a epic phail qn 1) and SS (pass by a 2.5 :D) and English (34) and Philo (OMGOSH COI!!! IM SO SHOCKED MANN Hahahah reflections are the love :)

But tomorrow will be terrror for sure. Physics and Math! D:

OMG just got a call for liying about phototaking tomorrow. Im going to I-G-N-O-R-E mann!! No way we can do call line now anyway! I bet half of the world wont see it. There we go! Yay us -.-

2009-10-19T13:06:00.005+08:00

Time for Miracles is BEAUTIFULL.

And ADAM LAMBERT IS AMAZING.

He can actually sing every single note on the guitar. Can you believe it! Rob Cavallo said so. Apparently there's this song called Suburban Decay on his album! I was quite majorly grossed out over the pics he posed for in the mag though... DAMN GROSS! But then again it wasn't entirely his choice right, plus the song made up for it! Ahahah I'm quite high now :)

Ohmygee I want to grab someone and give the person a bigggg hug hahah. You know who you are ;) Soo much fun man the fbchat, until someone else came along :P

Finishing up my dad's Jai Ho presentation file. I've been snipping at the damn video the whole morninggg! iMovie is nicee though!

Oh and on second thoughts, I'd rather have this life than tomorrow jeez. Having paper checking plus arts fest pracs every single day D:

2009-10-16T18:58:00.003+08:00

Hellooooo!
Went to watch 500 Days of Summer today with Amanda Low and Zi En :) Quite sappy kind of humour luh. But sadly the guy doesn't get the girl in the end. I'm quite a sucker for the sweet romances luh, meaning that they actually get together in the end. Lol. So quite sad luh.
Omgosh Zooey looks like Katy Perry man! I just realised today hahah. And Joseph Gordon Levitt plays the male lead :)

2009-10-15T12:49:00.002+08:00

ONE WORD: PHEWWWWWWWW!

Seriously I was freaking out so bad. I checked at 56; it came at 57.

Thank god!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

2009-10-14T23:49:00.006+08:00

Went to the Supreme Court today with Zien and Zhang Rui! :)

Its super pretty luh the building! We got to see the Court of Appeal and the Technology Courtrooms and all. And the Viewing Gallery is damnn scary cos you get a full city view and the windows are like slanted. But still its prettaye!

All hell breaks loose on Tuesday man.. Paper checking + Arts Fest Rehearsals starting D:

Jeez. Ohwells I shall enjoy all the time I have.

I just went from iPhone 3G to iPhone 3GS mann! =)

Probably the nicest thing that happened to me all week man :) Yayy!!!

2009-10-13T19:02:00.008+08:00

You know sometimes you just shouldn't count your chicks before they hatch; Thats the same way it is for me.. I shouldn't have started celebrating and thinking of all the wonderful things I was gonna do. Just received the schedule for Arts Fest. Jeez I took one look at it and I thought I would faint. Then I got an email 5 hours later telling us its the wrong schedule. But even so, there's training.

Every

single

day

And I'm telling you, I was so freaking devastated, I just started crying. The number of things I'm putting aside for this. Every single day there's something plus the fact that it clashes perfectly with ISO Exhibition. Perfectly. And lame as it may seem I was really looking forward to it. And I kinda miss doing all the funny public this public that things and little exhibitions in Primary school and I felt soo bad emailing Mrtoh to cancel with him :( And I just realised the influx of sad smileys in that email. Uhoh. I'm refreshing the damn browser hoping he's not pissed off at me :( hahahah He's the only teacher I know of in RG who uses smiley faces constantly in emails. Oh I think Mr Tan does. Oh and Mr Wolfe!! Smileys are cute :) hahahahah

I don't care man; I need to find the time to go out with friends and everything during the next few days. I don't deserve to be cooped up at home all day long or stuck in school with no entertainment whatsoever, especially after the longest possible, most gut wrenching, heart wrenching year here. So I'm gonna find some way to strike that gorgeous balance between the two. And find time to go out and have fun, and prac guitar, and bake a cake and photoshop random things and all. I will, somehow, someway.

2009-10-12T18:31:00.003+08:00

EYAS ARE OVER BABYY!!

Hahahahah

That is so un-Me but who cares! Seriously! The nightmaree is over. Finally.. It was horrible luh! Pure disaster

Let me give you a chronological recap of my trauma:

Day 1: English Compre I screwed the summary; HMT I didnt finish the damn essay

Day 2: Bio ... Shan't say more D: I was DEVASTATED after the paper luh, the whole world knows

Day 3: SS was pathetic, no one could finish the paper.. Lit was okay but Qn1 was UGH stoopid poem. okay its quite a nice poem but stoopid question

Day 4: Math was ... Philo was okay luh but I kept minimizing my explanations cos I was running out of time

Day 5: Chem was UGHH cos we have a USELESS relief teacher for Redox. NOT Ms Chun or Ms Ng kayss! Not mentioning any names -.-

Day 6 (that was today): Tamil was quite terrible cos of serthezhuthal pirithezhuthal UGHH and Physics is EPICfaillllllllllllllllllllllll

Yes so that was newsflash for you.

Proudly brought to you by TheEndOfMe Pte Ltd

._.

But still there's a lot of stuff I have learnt over the pass mugging sessions over two weeks. Like how you should study ahead of the exams. ~~And that even if you do, sometimes it doesnt really help..~~ But that's besides the point. Hahah. And I learnt a lot about true friendship :)

Ohwells, its finally over and I swear to god Im gonna start working on Sec4 in like a few weeks so that I dont kena like this year. (I think multicolour posts are cute! Esp with the multicolour skin! :D hehehe)

WHOOYAY there are sooo many things I wanna do =) I hid the library today and got nice books to actually read hehe havent been doing that much, unless textbooks count, like. ._.

I got a bunch of stuff including a Dave Pelzer and a Salman Rushdie collection. Oh the influence of Ms Picca :) Hasn't quite worn off yet :) Finallyyy get the time to plan myself out and take a breather. Yeah mann Kaykay I shall schedule properly

For post eya stuffs, so far I've got Supreme Court Visit on 14th :) And probably catch a movie with Amanda Low and Zien :D

Then there's ISO exhibition! Yay! hahah i think it'll be fun. There's like my 26th Oct, 3rd, 5th, 6th gone :) hehe

OH and there's Talent Vogue 2! I AM SO GONNA GO MANZX! Hahah I missed last year majorlyy! Hahah I wonder if Mr Toh will sing again! Hope so! The teacher band or RGlectrico as Mr D puts it is awesomeeeee!! :)

Oh I just realised Joseph McElderry has the same name! Ahahahah :) He's amazing! And he looks like Mark Feehily from Westlife! Hehe

Which reminds me I am so shocked over Stephen Gately my goodness! Scary man! RIP Stephen, he was such a nice person. Its kinda scary. MJ plans his comeback, he passed on. Boyzone wanted to do a tour, Stephen passes on. D: What is the world coming to?!

ANW,

I plan to catch a few movies out of this lot;

Tuesdays With Morrie, Time Traveller's Wife, Twilight, Adam, 2012, Sister's Keeper, This Is It, 500 Days of Summer, FAME, Surrogates!

Ahahahh Vicky tells me Fame wasnt nice. Oh but teachers were there! LOL :)

Quite cute luh, they watch the same stuff we do. Its like how some teachers were singing along to Blue on Teachers Day :)

And oh yeah, send christmas ecards! Eh wait a bit the far right? teehee. ANTICLIMAX

And download Karthik's engeyum eppothum, ilamai etho etho and Satish's BvG dances!! OHMYGOSH they're damn pro! And damn nice!

Hmm what else..

I shall bake me mom a cake (ohno getting influenced by the south shields accent, its very irish yknow)

Ohyes! Upload Teachers' Day Videoss! :) And start writing notes for 307 and rgge!

Oh and plan Sec4 farewell for guitar! And kill myself with Asturias over and over again. Ahh my fingers. They are burning right now :(

Ohyeah and learn Tong Hua again for that weird thing.. Yes honeys, it is in chinese. Tuition anybody? I don't mind paying you in a starbucks or two? heheh :)

2009-10-11T12:56:00.003+08:00

Got kinda sick of MUGGING PHYSICS for two days consecutively so I'm baaccckkk :D Went to watch XFactor vids. This guy has a voice that can break your heart. Joseph McElderry FTW! :)) I love his voice! And his eyes are so pretty hahahah!

Btw, back to this side of the world, Tabby is the only one on SGidol who can actually sing jeez. VOTE TABITHA! :D
She's gonna sing Who's Lovin You by The Jackson 5 on Wednesday OHYMYGEE Can't wait!! I LOVEE THAT SONG!!
And if you dont know how it sounds, you are seriously deprived...

But I shant leave ya deprived :) Here we go, its a MUST listen

2009-10-09T12:02:00.005+08:00

CHEM IS UGH. AND MATH IS UGH-ER

I think I'll pass Chem though. I hope so. Cos I mugged crazy much for bonding and atomic structure and I kinda figured moles. So yups hopefully.. Ohgosh gotta mug for physics D: D: D:

Btw here's Satish's awesomeee latest dance performance on BvG :) Personally he outdid the original :) Especially loosu penne, it was so in your face for Simbu HAH. Besides the fact that yes he is in your face at one point in time hehe. AND he has humility :)

Boys Part 4 @ Yahoo! Video

2009-10-07T15:20:00.001+08:00

SS was so UGHHHHHH today! Couldn't finish the damn essay man! I mean we are soo not trained to do SRQ please o.O I have no idea how those work. >< and apparently I wasn't alone luh hahah. I was so scared that I was. Okay no not that I'm happy other people couldn't finish lug no that's mean. It's just quite pathetic if you're the only idiot who cannot finish your essay cos you're too dumb or you have extremely long nails that dig into your flesh and leave nasty little bruises. And makes your whole hand tremble such that you cannot tie your freaking script. I only had 2 sides for SS MANZX! AAHHHHHHHHH!

Lit was okayy luh. The first question was so dumb though. Meaning there was no content to analyse.

AND ZOMG I FELL FOR THE CELL QUESTION MANNN IN BIOOOO! I WAS READING THE DAMN THING JUST BEFORE AND I STILL FELL FOR ITTTTTTTTTT. DAMN IT!

Okay I officially HATE eyas this year. And I swear to god I'll make sure this doesn't happen again.

Oh and _____ says we can't have seniors in artsfest wth I am going to fight for their freaking rights man!

Came (or is it went! zomg I just realised I still don't get it hahah) home with yujia today :) damnn funny luh

Yujia: I'm always gasping for air when I finish eating a McSpicy! Should I buy one?
Me: Do you want to gasp for air?

Then a little later,
Yujia: I'm going to do train on the math.

ROFLMAO MANN! haven't laughed that much in ages :)

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

2009-10-06T16:12:00.003+08:00

Hellowello world! Feeling a lot better after all the emoing luhh. My goodness, Bio was soo GRRR. I mean after mugging like crazy for like FOUR hours this morning even mr d knows i was stuck there, LAST NIGHT, THE NIGHT BEFORE, ALL the late nights throughout this past entire year.. And this is what you get in the end.. Its kinda heart breaking know what I mean? And very veryy demoralising. I really studied luh, not like there was anything I could have done luh.

And it's like some sorta curse; everytime I'm the rep of something I end up crying after that paper.

It was that way in sec1 when I was Ms Siu's Physics Rep. FAILED that one. Being Mr Toh's Philo Rep was just the same in sec2, and I remember crying for like 2hours cos I didn't even finish my paper... I didnt fail that one though teehee. I was like soo amazed by that. Honestly, I nearlyy felt like worshipping him and Mr LimEY hahahah biggest shocker ever luh!

This year, don't even talk about it. Every paper I end up in tears. Except PPA2 luh but thats cos it was supposed to be easy.. :( But still, P.S. to all those people who got a bit freaked out, I'm not suicidal (yet. hehe) luh so dont worry. I'm not gonna do anything stupid. I'm over that phase (if any :))

I know I should be ENVIRONMENTAL REP next year! Aha! Brilliant! Oh but then probably I'll end up shedding tears for Global Warming. There we go with Tragedy of the Commons again =) Not so brilliant dont ya think?Yknow I always though Brilliant looks funny when you spell it, but thats beside the point hahahah I lovee Ellen Degeneres luh she's what restored my senses after the depression :) Funny how everyone seems so encouraging and full of advice (not a bad thing, at all :)) suddenly. Even Lady Gaga! "Just dance, gonna be okay da da dooo doo-mm" LOL man Hahah yes but playboy mouths, clubs and records aside hahahah :)

And omgosh being Bio Rep has given me an email addiction cos I always had to be on the go cos of the tons of questions ppl spam me with or ask me to send them stuff or Mr D's emails... Jeez.. I cant not hit inbox at least 200 times a day hehe

But honestly, just seeing my iPhone wallpaper just made me cry all the more luh. I guess it has to be true.

Everything is okay in the end, If its not okay its not the end

Life still goes on, whether you like it or not. Since you can't change the world, why not change yourself?

2009-10-06T15:06:00.001+08:00

All I wanted was to not be in tears after a Bio paper, just this once. And even a simple wish like that couldn't come true. That's how stupid my life is. And I really don't know if I'll pass. I was counting my blessings and being thankful that I pulled up to a 3.2 after the flop in Sem1. And now it goes down the drain. Again. Sometimes life isn't all that worth living anymore..

2009-10-06T00:13:00.002+08:00

I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this

Okay hehe Im just trying to psycho myself into believing that I can ace Bio tomorrow. Hahahahah BIO HERE I COME AND IM NOT GONNA LET ANYTHING STOP ME :D

Just this once I shall attempt to look ego (and end up looking more like a psychopath? :D)

2009-10-05T20:58:00.002+08:00

These are such amazing pieces by this 17yearold German boy called Dusel. Really inspirational dude with a LOT of talent, despite any setbacks he may seem to have. :)

2009-10-05T13:43:00.001+08:00

Yay I changed skin again! its brighter and happier and GAYer! :D :D :D Need to keep myself alive for EYAs. Man Im a genius I managed to chiong BioPT Group Component over last night tsktsk some people and get FULL MARKS :D :D :D

2009-10-04T22:06:00.002+08:00

It's very sad how a lot of things are coming to an end suddenly. Im suddenly all nostalgic and cheesy and everything... Dont know why..

Even a certain some people who email me until cannot tahan already and flood my inbox for the tiniest of reasons, and cause me an email addiction such that I check my email every five minutes.. Hahahah

GAHHH cannot focus properly! D:

and bio is on tuesday rawrrr

2009-10-04T13:13:00.002+08:00

yay changed the skin! but doesnt look very nice.. i prefer the old skin.. might change it back after eyas luh..
no time now NO TIME NO TIME AHHHH

2009-10-04T11:51:00.006+08:00

I'm currently scared and stressed and afraid and devastated and uninformed at the moment.

I mean tickets for RG Arts Fest are going on sale internally, and we still dont know any tangible arrangment whatsoever. All our equipment is in bloody Bradell Westlake since we were given the 'opportunity' to move there so practising with the Ringers is going to be one headache. And a certain some people will NOT be helping at all. I bet she hasnt even realised that we'll face that problem yet. We have a piece that sounds quite awkward at parts and we really need combined pracs. We have had no schedule of what rehearsals are going to be like. We have had no information on fulldress rehearsals. WE DONT EVEN KNOW WHEN THE PERFORMANCE IS!!!!! Seriously, it cant get any better than that dont you think? And now we get to buy tickets whooyay! I know I sound extremely sarcastic and I apologise if I offend anyone. But honestly, you'd think it could be a tad better than that! And I've got the ISO exhibition thing on 26th, 3rd, 5th&6th. So I'd go late for CCA on the 26th, and probably end up skipping the 4rd unless some miracle happens and something gets changed, like maybe we opt for a combined and change prac dates, or perhaps the rehearsal gets pushed backwards. And then I realise that I run the risk of getting myself kicked out of ArtsFest. And as much as I love rgge and I will be committed to yall, I have to prioritise.

And prioritization has a criteria. And I swear to god, Arts Fest wouldnt be at the top. Just purely based on emotions. I mean obviously the smarter thing to do would be to say no to ISO and go ahead with rgge. But honestly, from all that's been said and done, no way. Just that one email Mrtoh sent, displays that stark differentiation for the whole world to see. "I fully understand" I know very well its CHEESY to sit around analysing everything in the world there is, but it is true. And I ask myself, do I deserve this. Well, you'd think not.

So if I do get kicked out of this entire thing, well I deeply apologise. And I will be committed to doing whatever I can out of the spotlight to support yall, I swear. But I'm sorry, maybe for once I'll start thinking about myself instead. Instead of constantly sacrificing myself, my time, self-worth and character for the common good.

Just this once; give me that leeway
And I'd be eternally grateful.

It doesnt there. Im afraid about a LOT of things. EYAS TOO! And I need to get this all out before tuesday. The fact that Lit is super screwed this time around and I dont know how to work my way around it. Bio is testing three of my worst topics, Ecology, Mans Impact and Photosynthesis. And I dont know what to do. Im not getting everything right, I cant play asturias for nuts. My fingernails arent in the right shape to play even. One's too long one's too short.

And then I think to myself, every phase of life is like the length of your fingers. Every phase is different. And I try to convince myself that its a passing cloud and it'll be okay in the end. But then the question is: When will it end? Will I make it? And will you be there?

2009-10-02T20:49:00.003+08:00

Ahahahah I think I'm an emotional rollercoaster... nah thats too stereotypical.. I'm an emotional YO-YO! :D

SATISH IS AN AWESOMEEEE DANCER MANZX!
Note to self: Download his dances to my phone after EYAs are over :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

2009-10-02T17:51:00.006+08:00

Was standing at the MRT station today, just in front of the yellow lines
and I started thinking about how Death is all around us
Everywhere;
One push and you'd be on the floor
Lying on a bed of stones
Ready to meet your death.
That comes in the form of people
Life; Thousands of commuters on a train.

And so I cling on to the stanchion pole
On a crowded train
Surrounded by Life
Of people talking, laughing
Stoning, Couples kissing and doing stupid things
And I look at my wrist with all the fine green lines
Running across it, and I think
That's life
running through my veins
One cut, and it may well be
Over.

And then I think to myself
The fact that I have the confidence to
Know that there will be a new day,
Tomorrow,
When I close my eyes tonight
That I'll wake to see the
Faces of my loved ones, my friends,
Talking, laughing,
And I think that's what confidence is.
And I believe in it; I believe in me
Come what may, we'll pull through
In the end

2009-10-02T17:07:00.004+08:00

TODAY WAS TERRIBLEEE >.< English Summary was SCREWED cos I undershot the word limit, something that is exceptionally abnormal for me D: And tamil, should not be spoken of seriously. I mugged SO hard for the 'improvements to tamil society' topic... LIKE CRAZY! and it didnt even come out! So i ended up doing some technological advancements impact thing and FAILED at it cos I didnt know how to say mp3 player and stuffs in tamil. Ended up writing em-pi-thi-ree. in tamil syllables D: D: D: STOOPID

And I mean thanks soo much uh guys, for blabbering so openly about how my 'S' looks like his 'S' hahahahah it was hilarious luh the S thing :O But honestly, I'm really afraid that he heard it D: D: D:

And to put it straight in the world's face, here's a DISCLAIMER
I am not crushing on/ in love with any organism, female, male, asexual, bisexual, intersexual, homosexual, metrosexual, heterosexual whatsoever. And I do not appreciate being falsely accused of doing so. Thank you very much for your kind understanding.

It's just immature luh! Wahlou hahahh and c'mon I have got BETTER TASTE!
OHWELLS gotta go study alreadyyyy D:

Oh oh wait hilarious quote from English that day going thru compre hahahahah

Nico: For skipped, can I put jumped over?
Mr Angullia: Wahlou!!

2009-10-01T12:52:00.003+08:00

OH AND I TOTALLY FORGOT TO MENTION.

I GOT ME MICHAEL JACKSON TICKETS ALREADY :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

2009-10-01T10:38:00.003+08:00

Okay last post before EYAs start.. TOMORROW >< AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH I'm so extremely freaked out :O Ohmans the tremors yesterday were DAMNN SCARY MAN! First time in my life such a thing happened. And we were all joking how it should have happened during the exams instead teehee. No luh kidding I'd just be epicly freaked out! Man I think this year just whizzed past, its been the most stressful year of my life really, not enough sleep, not enough time, not enough happiness hehe and a LOT of frustration.. But I mean the start of EYAs means the end of proper lessons. And Monday marks the last day of proper lessons.. Its kinda sad yknow. Like yesterday I was thinking how much I'd really miss Ms Regina Lee and all... D: even though she's been teaching us only half a year. And we saw Ms Ng yesterday and were WHINING LIKE CRAZY to her.. D: D: D: Our chem is majorly screweddd up D: And it'd surely be strange not knowing who we'd get next year for English, Math, BiO and everything else... And now that we're gonna be in the same class next year too, it the teachers that we end up missing :( And all the SUPER LAME SUPER FUNNY MOMENTS with Mr Angullia, Mr DS, Mr Tan, Mr Hee, Ms Lee, Ms Ng even Mr Leek sometimes :) It's been a fun ridee :) And I'm quite sad that it ends here :( Ohwells there's always one more year... But its only one, and I dont think its quite enough to live this life.. You just need more than one year in RGS. I just dont wanna graduate Rg next year.. I mean I dont even wanna think about it now so you can just imagine how much worse it'll be next year D: Ohman I need to go study already luhh... English & Tamil tomorrow >< And Bio on TUESDAY AHHHHHHH Why cant they push it back D:

2009-09-25T21:27:00.004+08:00

I suddenly have this strange urge to post hahah. Unlike me to update so regularly during EYA cramming yeah? ohwellsssss :)
Quite uneventful today luh compared to yesterday teehee. I havent gotten over the convo YET HAHAHAHAHH
we had like philo (COI WAS TERRIBLEEEEEEEEEEEEEE), ss, chem (EVEN WORSE, besides the awesome SPA :D) and math. oh and bio ces jeez. Assembly performances by supraja were nice though :) Oh and Mr De Souza's action-ness to help Mrs Hoo with her PPTslides, but really luh he did run quite fast! hahahah it was hilarious! I was sitting there making a bet that his ego was skyhigh at that point in time hahahh! :)

I really think the lucky-charmness thing is true! :) I GOT A FREAKIN GPA 4 FOR CHEMSPA!! I was so shocked please I was all prepared to fail <3 Seriously, one fine day I'll break the news to ( ) and give the person a major treat, chocolate buffet or smthg :P hopefully next year presents the opportunity. muahahahah i bet a lot of people have no idea who im talking about ohwells nothing that you have to know, though ya probably want to :) heh

For some reason I'm getting pissed at some people for no reason... ahhwell its just one more week of endurance and then you're outta my life mann! :) Sudden surge of optimism huh? aftermath of yesterday! ohman this is so un-me! :D but yay! :D okay the 'gay'ness just skyrocketed I think :D

Okayokay I need to understand speciation and redox reactions by tonight before I go to sleep! Redoxes and redbulls HEREEE I COME :D

2009-09-24T20:35:00.003+08:00

You know it's funny how I seem to have a theme song every moment of my life.. And the one thing I learned today, was that true affection really exists. It was the one thing that I was toying with, especially the timeframe I wrote that emo poem.. And today was that one day, that I realised that it does exist.

I’ve been sitting, watching life pass from the sidelines
Been waiting for a dream to seep in through my blinds
I wondered what might happen if I left this all behind
Would the wind be at my back
Could I get you off my mind
This time
- August Rush :)

It's like my wallpaper,

When the world says 'Give up', Hope whispers 'Try one more time'. :)

I'm really in THAT kind of mood right now.. Seriously, I have a LOT of people to thank for that.. Deborah Lim & Cheryl for helping me with oxidation reduction thingums.. omgosh i finally understood those annoying little things! Jeez! Thanks SO much guys! Like i said, ill treat you to starbucks or gelare if I do chem EYA proper =)
And Vicky, for that letter, honestly it was one of the most hopeless, stressful days of my life yesterday.. And its really amazing timing man! Thanks so much <3
And well well, I was so worried that I'd piss a certain person off! BUT ( )'S NOT PISSED OFF! :D :D :D Those who were talking to me today know who hahahha I AM SO RELIEVED :D :D :D :D :D It was so fun talking to ( ), sappy as it is. I miss it really! :D hahahahahah WHOOO!! :D And it made me so much happier after so longg :) Lucky charm-ness man :D And 307 I love you guys, esp amanda low and gang :) You make life bearable for me man :)

When the one thing you're looking for
Is nowhere to be found
And you back stepping all of your moves
Trying to figure it out
You wanna reach out
You wanna give in
Your head's wrapped around what's around the next bend
You wish you could find something warm
'Cause you're shivering cold
It's the first thing you see as you open your eyes
The last thing you say as your saying goodbye
Something inside you is crying and driving you on
It's the first thing you see as you open your eyes
The last thing you say as your saying goodbye
Something inside you is crying and driving you on

'Cause if you hadn't found me
I would have found you
I would have found you
- Something Inside, August Rush

:)

2009-09-23T19:01:00.002+08:00

I'm so freaking stressed about exams and well, a lot of people are not helping me by saying 'exams in a week'.
For god's sake, I know its exams in a week.. Sometime it feels like life isn't worth living anymore..

2009-09-22T23:17:00.004+08:00

I left a few quotes out the other day D: hahahah

Mr D: Then, Pikachu is the only one that doesn't say its full name. Its just pika pika only. Then those like magma that kind are like MAAAG-MAHH MAAG-MAHH, and squirtle is like SQUIRTSQUIRT.

OHMANS DAMNN FUNNY LUH!! Jeez his pokemon imitations are like EPICCCCCC. hahahahah

Persa: Did man mate with monkeys thats why AIDS came about?
MrD: Starts explaining division between primates, man and hominates whatever.
Oh, man evolved from apes (and let me tell you that was a very characteristic oh hahah)
Persa: No I has talking about AIDS!
MrD: No I thought you were talking about apes!

2009-09-18T20:27:00.002+08:00

Hellowello world!
This is prolly the last time I'd blog until exams are over D: Can't wait for 13th Oct.. Less than one month away manzx D: D: D: The prospect of EYAs approaching is extremely disturbing really.. AHHHHHHHHH we havent finish syllabus even! For almost every subject, okay except english cos I mean there ain't a syllabus for English Compre DUH. I mean wth Math we still have to do properties of circle, which should have been BEFORE trigo! And circular measure is screwed enough. Physics, well they did one smart thing and scraped off pressure but I wasted all my time mugging it during sept hols. >< Lit, we have a 2 HOUR paper and I have NO CLUE WHYYY. We have two tamil papers, which are screwed cos I dont get funny cheem words. Chem is EPIC FAIL cos our new teacher now is fantastic.. i want ms ng back!! or ms chun!! D: Oh and Bio is like OMG cos we still havent finished Evolution, Mr D says he's only halfway through it!!! AAHHHHHH

Btw, Bio was hilarious today, cos we were talking about evolution and Mr De Souza starting linking LION KING and POKEMON to evolution..
Mr D: Of course in Lion King they didnt show the killing ah. But Lion King actually lied to yall, Its a Disney picture so they won't show Simba being killed and all that, but by right (blah blah blah) the uncle and the dad (blah blah blah) assumed the role of the alphamale, he would have killed Simba. But because its a disney program, and its G, they didn't kill Simba!! By right, in nature Simba would have been killed.
Us: Ohmygosh, did you watch?
Mr D:On evolution what, we must be familiar.

Mr D:Another thing ah, pls take note ah, Pokemon even though they say it evolves uh, it is the incorrect use of the term evolution okay if its a single individual that is changing to level 2 or level 3 or whatever but, but, it is not heritable.
Look at pokemon, how does it evolve?
Pokemon evolves when he fights more battles. The pokemon that is going to fight the most number of battles is the one that is going to evolve at the fastest rate in the end. So the stone is like a UV ray,
(class is ROFLing) but you never see the pokemon giving birth to a level 3 pokemon. Evolution is not correctly used here.

Mr D: And then you see xmen right, its not truly evolution..
Heroes actually copied from xmen because its the same director
Jody: No!
Mr D: Yes, its the same director. Go and look at the credits. So anyway,
Class: We're digressing, you're not teaching us.
Mr D: No what this is part of enrichment, of being able to apply. If I were to do sec4 options ah, I'll do Media and Biology. We'll all do cartoons and. But Im sorry ah I wont be teaching Sec4 next year.
Class: Why!
Mr D: No what you need someone with the resources and the ability..
Class: So you're saying that you dont have ability..

Mr D: Why the angmohs are hairy? If you look at their geographical location, you will see right they are more in the colder regions.
Jody: Are you angmoh?
Mr D: No I am psuedo.

OHMANS DAMN FUNNY HAHAHAH I should have started taking quotes at the start of the year mann! Ohwells, this post can be my tribute to Bio and Mr De Souza's EPIC (lame) sense of humour and my term as Bio Rep.. Oh the ego, it burns! ahahahahah And it was quite a shock for me that he won't be teaching Sec4 next year luh. Cos I mean for some reason I guess cos Bio has always been Mr D for me luh. So a change would be plain awkwardd and come to think of it, despite the torture that I sometimes undergo, its loads of fun in Mr De Souza's class, especially with the digressions :)

[There I go again, inviting rumours -.-]

And you know its funny how I love there are inside jokes; somethings that only you and your class gets to know and everyone else gets the external perspective plus the envy hahahah I miss that with 201 last year mann.. We were like the epitome of everyone else's envy. Its like 301 this year hahah. Im happily entertaining myself with fb videos hehe.. Ohemgee 408's Japanese ghost thing with Mr Toh is freaking hilarious!!! Ahhh I miss last year D:

Just had grooming which was purely stupid. The woman who came had such a stinking attitude that even if she had anything useful to say, you would not want to listen. And honestly, you are supposed to suggest not criticise during etiquette class.. I mean if you're so gorgeous, then why didnt you get into Ms Universe or something.. Hahah maybe next to RisLow >< Seriously, to all those people who got put down today, don't give a damn man.. She's not worth a thought!

So glad I passed physics spa man..was freaking out like crazyy and started practically spasming cos I was shaking so bad. SCARRYZ. And lit too! I got like a full mark essay and a 4/5 one.. IF ONLY MCQS DIDNT EXIST RAWWRRRRR. I wouldnt mind if they had Lit1 Lit2 instead of Math1 Math2 luh D: NO MORE PTS FOR THE YEAR WHOOYAYY!! Maybe ill sleep a little earlier, and breathe a little easier now.

Oh oh and since Cae asked me too I shall blog my lamee poem here.

The Melody of Loneliness

To vociferate my name - convening peril
Of being, in midst of a world of woe,
To caress the viridescent vein of broken skin
And the silver blade that slivered the sentience
Silently, amidst the sorrowful strain of your breath.

To part - to depart this hard-earned life
To be wrenched apart from this wretchedness
In warmth, worth, wonderment and wander of
The soul! that trumped all tribulations bygone.

That paralyzed passion pared by the knife,
Of palpability, perception, of truth
That inhumes fondness six foot deep.
Of fraud, fabulation and futile reap

That resonates of remorse and ruth
Of camaraderie, closeness and
compassion ceased
By greed, gluttony, gaffe and grief.
For keep is earned, affection is steep;
Silence may weep, but talk is cheap.

Tell me what company thou keepst
and I’ll tell thee what though art, you say?
Am I Nobody then, forsaken, forlorn?
With no converse, confidante; con sordino

Bella muerte! the song that escapes my lips
Avere fede; the reverberation.
Hear the heartbeat of the solus spirit
Alas! In solitude, soliloquy is your only solace

Gtg already luh.. Shall post the teachers day videos and all someother time :) Nites! :D

2009-08-28T21:41:00.002+08:00

Probably one of the most emotional days of my life, well in a good way and bad hahah.
it was Be Yourself Day! :D I was just wearing random clothes luhh. The theme was Ambition, but I mean I want to do psychology, sociology, biology that sorta thing, cant do much dressing up right :) Besides, if you wanna be an astronaut, then come in a spacesuit issit? Cannot right?

Yup so first block was chem and we were all quite freaked over Chem SPA ytd,>< it was utterly terribleeeeee dont like it. My class values are supposed to be 18.8 to 18.9 but I got a whopping 18.3 >< RAWR. I've never been able to titrate anything properly. I always miss end point or undershoot, overshoot something like that. >< Ohwells, its over and done with. Shan't cry over spilt milk. I promised myself not to cry after exams but broke that promise less than 10 hours later hah.

Lit was probably my favourite lesson of the entiree day :) Ms Regina Lee asked us to reflect on what was up with us yesterday cos our previous two lessons weren't very productive, so it was a pretty tense lesson yesterday and people actually said what they were feeling like.. And a few of us said we were unhappy with life.. And Ms Lee decided to get us Kisses today! Ohman I really wasn't expecting it luhh. And then she showed us this amazing slide show that made me cry :'( I was so overwhelmed by the fact that she showed it to us.. I mean at the point in time, I was so stressed and all, any little thing could make me crack. It was so sweet luh. I love Ms Lee man! <3

Here's the video:

OH but then again, highlight of the entire day? BE YOURSELF DAY CATWALK!! RGTeachers own all mann! Mr Evans dressed up as a househusband/rgsgirl. OMGOSH MAN. And Mr De Souza was a beach bum hahah he personally told us that :) And Mrs Leslie practically did a striptease luh my goodness. It was HILARIOUS TTM. So Ms Hou got Ms Pretty, Mrs Leslie got Ms Sexy and Mr De Souza and Mr Evans got Mr Cool and Mr Hot respectively :D We saw Mr Evans after school, without the apron. It was hysterical I tell you :)

Yup then there was tech run for speechday >< Tomorrow's Speech Day! After its over, I'll stretch myself out on a bed and sigh for 1 hour straight, I swear to god! ._. Soo tired but oh wells.. I still need to go teachers day shopping oh no!

2009-08-22T12:42:00.005+08:00

Ever wanted a taste of how phony and brusque the world can really be like? Well I've got a piece of that. And all this time I've been supressing all of that in me, all because I can't get myself in trouble. But I think it's time, time to let it go, time to forget about being politically correct. I'm not making comments about you, I'm making comments about how I feel about the situation.. It is my right, cos that way I'm not intruding on your privacy what so ever. When I took this responsibility, to become your guitar vchair, that day I made that speech, it was you guys that I cared for, you guys that I wanted to serve.. And I was willing to do that, against all odds. But let me make myself clear, what I want to be is a proficient vchair. what i am not is your politically correct exco member who kowtows to the universe and i will not be that any longer that i have been.

It was a terrible rehearsal yesterday and I completely apologise for what was entirely out of my control. Such as the weather, and some stinking attitude. I will definitely improve in whatever areas that I can, and I hope to work a lot better with exco'10 and ensure that external factors do not affect our relationship and our service toward the ensemble. Yet I cannot help but to say this.

It is extremely hard to work with people who are so negative, who have nothing and i mean NOTHING good to say. If a positive word ever escapes your lips, it is just spat out with so much negativity that it just leads to more condemnation. I'm not fishing for compliments, and I never will but please, isn't it possible to not criticise us just this once? I've really had enough, and what has it been? TWO WEEKS. At first I went around apologising to my friends saying, Im sorry it was so awkward just now and I don't think I can handle this responsibility.. I was very broken yesterday and it was only with the help of five very special people that I managed to pull through yesterdays english orals :) But then I got back home and this morning the email I got shocked me..

"and please dont get stressed like abi, u noe she gets stressed very easily. so when she gets stressed up, u have to take charge. u hav to be the calm collected one. i cant have a head and a vice head who both go running around like headless chicken, so when she's stressed u hav to calm her down, or slap her in the face and say, get a grip on yourself, you are the vchair, do your duty"

Lets look at all the underlying implications in there..
1) I get very stressed easily.
2) You have to be the calm collected one
3) We ran around like headless chickens
4) You have to calm her down in the future
5) Slap her in the face and tell her to get a grip
6) Do your duty
7) When she is stressed, she does not do her duty

And examine that...
Okay I purely understand that I do get stressed easily. I even mentioned that in my speech. It is something that I'm working on to improve. I know that I can change that and I WILL. It is also understandable that we have to be calm and collected. It is the best possible and most conducive state of mind with which to handle this situation. However, don't you know, with all due respect, what back-stabbing is? Do you even realise the relationship I have with rachelyo, She and CJ and bass section are the closest of friends to me in guitar. Dude I'm blessed to have you as my friend and chairperson, cos I'm 110% positive no one else would understand me. The analogy that we run around like headless chickens in itself is one that is derogatory in its use, and its implications. You have no right to criticise the way I am. And you said it yourself, youre in charge you do it. Precisely, Im in charge. All the more, you cant say anything about the way I run the ensemble. Whoever said it was haphazard or aimless way; frantically or without control? And whoever said it was our fault? Calming me down in the future is not the responsibility of the chairperson, is it? It is something purely personal to me, and out of anyone else's control. Telling her to slap me in the face is out of the question. What does the mere action of slapping someone imply? Authority, rudeness, anger? What about the friendship and understanding we have outside of all of this? It's just brash, and utterly insolent. And when did I not do my duty? The only reason I get stressed or so to speak is in order to fulfill my duty to the best of my ability, and to live up to expectations. How does that make me not do my duty?

I know that it is offensive to post about people this way, I think my school and my family have very well trained me of that. All the more, I'm not revealing identities tangibly.

I do believe that respect is a two way thing. You earn respect, you aren't obliged to give it to them. And if this is going to be the way you treat me, why should I give any to you back? Teaching is such a virtuous profession. I mean the future of this nation is in your hands, to mould, to create. And as much as I have gotten amazing teachers who embody this or have the personality and the conscience to be genuine and care about the impact they create, both positively and negatively, like Mr Joseph Toh, Ms Picca, Ms Wong and all these other beautiful people, the education industry in singapore is increasingly becoming one that is for job security and not commitment or dedication to create a better future. Its not about the joy of education. Of course we aren't flawless, but we need to care for the fact the other person is human too. There are so many teachers that have impacted positively on my life, but why are these others not dealt with even? How did they end up in this industry. And all this considering teachers day is just ten days away.. Thats all I'm asking... To all the teachers who are dear to me, know that this does not apply to you.

And I swear to god I would have failed my english orals if not for five very special people.. Amanda Low, Parisa, Anqi, Zi En and Yufei, Here's a shoutout to yall for enduring all my emotional trauma :P yesterday and being so supportive of each other during orals itself. I think we made an impression :) And I think its the first time this year that I really felt so lucky to be in 307'09. I've never felt like I truly was a part of all this but thanks to you guys I managed to pull myself together and I love yall alot. Don't get me wrong, there are alot of teachers who are so nice and affectionate to us all at rgs. Some black sheeps just spoil it all. I've got a tough 12 weeks for this year to end, so I need to get this all out. Goodness knows what may happen in this time but I can and I WILL get through all of this. And through it all, its comforting to know that the whole world doesn't hate me. I love you guys rgge and I wouldnt be what I am without you. To all the seniors of batch 09, I truly admire your professionalism through it all, and I swear not to get preoccupied with the external hostility. I can detach myself from stereotypes, I can detach myself from the world, Why not her? I wont let this jeopardize anything, trust me. I love yall 307, for all the crazy moments and all the hyperness yesterday.. we may not be the most tolerantt :P (inside joke) but yall are beautiful people. To my parents, even though I dont say this explicitly, I love you mom and dad so much. Thanks for always being my backbone. I know how much you sacrifice for me and I'm sorry if I get frustrated sometimes. Thanks for enduring all my nonsense.

And amid all this one of the only positive things that happened to me was that this teacher, Mr Robert Ahdoot, who does YayMath.com replied to my fbpost. Here's what he says:
Dear Abirami,
Interestingly enough, you are not the only person from Singapore, how cool is that? Let's get together and push your teacher into a swimming pool, fully clothed, with cell phone, watch, wallet, and designer clothes, just to repay him/her for making such an awful comment to you about your abilities. You have my total support for going for ANYTHING you want to do, I mean that. Thank you so much for your message to me, I'm humbled by your kindness. Please tell others in your class about http://www.facebook.com/l/;yaymath.org! Let's help everyone we can. Have a wonderful school year and keep posting and letting me/everyone know what's going on during your year :-)

It was truly amazing how that one comment gave me so much hope and vitality in that moment when I thought the whole world was crumbling on me. On a side note yall should visit his website, very cool classes and very cool teacher too :) Thats what being a teacher is really about and I'm blessed that this fb post made that connection across the globe. It may be one comment but I think it may be the one that changes my life..

I was just reading my old posts in secone and I realised how freaking immature I was then HAHAH its hilarious now that I think about how much I couldnt get used to the idea of seniors and it freaked me so muchh to play guitaron.. The power of the transgressiveness of time. This is all very 'The Poison Tree' yknow.. Its didactic and emotional at the same time. Why you shouldnt pent up your emotions... hahahah the attack of the lit student

I was angry with my friend:
I told my wrath, my wrath did end.
I was angry with my foe;
I told it not, my wrath did grow.
And I water'd it in fears,
Night & morning with my tears;
And I sunned it with my smiles
And with soft deceitful wiles.

And it grew both day and night,
Till it bore an apple bright;
And my foe beheld it shine,
And he knew that it was mine,

And into my garden stole
When the night had veil'd the pole:
In the morning glad I see
My foe outstretch'd beneath the tree
----

I might consider being a teacher in the future, just to become that teacher-in-charge that I never had :) And I realised how much truth there is in this:

2009-08-16T23:23:00.000+08:00

So.. its first official day as vchair tomorrow. And YES RACHEL WE WILL NOT SCREW UP. Lets be totally in your face to that person. Jeez... Im so glad we're in this together man.. I dont know what I'd do without you <3

2009-08-14T22:38:00.003+08:00

Today was FUNN! hahah its not often that I call a school day fun.. Well first two blocks were so BORINGGG but assembly, bio, lunch and skincare was quite fun. We had this cool flamenco group come down for Assembly. SO COOL!! And the man who played guitar and danced is like 68 thats amazingg! I mean compare with our Singaporean ahpeks luh. They just sit around either pedophilic or doing strange things in the void deck or drinking in the coffeeshops. COMPARE AND CONTRAST -.- And I LOVED Mrs Leslie's enthu-madness! Hahah she was SO adorable luhh! And the fact that when she asked if there were any specific events we wanted to see, the seniors started asking Mr Ow to sing. Man if there's one thing that I'd always miss when I leave RG, its the funny moments and the spirit of RG. Thats something no collage, no video or no tribute can capture. Its innate, intangible.. The only way is to experience it :)

I shant comment about all that happened in between but Bio was SO fun! Hahahahah more like it was hilarious luh. Mr D was super high or something today so we had a lot of fun talking bout the passages. Like he was suddenly showindag so much personality that I was thinking was nearly nonexistent this year. I mean we've had Bio 4 times a week last year and this year its only twice ;( so no time to joke around or slack; pretty stressful for all of us. But I really miss like the funnier, laid back side of Bio (and Mr D), and how much FUN it was in 201 D: I know its DAMN cheesy to say this and I'm probably gonna be taken to the next trophic level of rumours but i dont give a damn. Its not a crime to be nostalgic you know hahah. I started taking quotes again, hopefully the funkiness continues Lol

Yup so after the awesome last block it was lunch so went out with Amanda and An Qi to Pastamania :D It was so much fun cos I haven't been out in ages with friends hahah. And walking around Far East just for the air con. And getting buses everytime we got to the bus stop in perfect timing :) I LOVE YOU GUYS! :D Just felt like saying it hahah

And then there was skincare that has currently caused me 4 eyelashes D: stupid mascara but quite fun luh. Aarthi you're awesome for coming down with me today man <3 I owe yall photos HAHAH did i mention camwhoring in the toilet (which is quite a new experience for me :P) was highly fascinating hahah

Rawr DPIP solution. I gotta go. Have alot of things to do plus 2 exams plus 2 practicals plus 2 PTs comin up D: Prolly my shortest post to date but it was a FUNN DAY :D

2009-08-07T18:23:00.006+08:00

Heylooo its been about four months since I've blogged! D: I like my new skin! hahah Not that there's nothing interesting in my life or something. My life is Extremely interesting, with a capital E. hahahh. Just that really got no time at all. Sec3 is soo hectic seriously! My darling sec2 juniors, enjoy your lives as much as you can! If you think you're busy, just wait till you get to sec 3 ._.

Anywayss, today was national day celebrations in Rg :D It was so funnn! Despite the sweltering heat and all.. It all started off with a parade segment with all the contingents from the UGs. You know I've always though UGs were cool ;) I mean just for the fact that there is NO WAY I can keep that still and that organized and march. Its amazing man! I mean I cant even walk straight to begin with. The way I walk is like criss cross or angular or something oh wells.. I was genuinely freaked when I saw the UG people starting to look like they were going to pass out during speeches. Seriously we in our cullottes and red tees were getting ready to die of heat stroke and poor them! D: After a bunch of speeches it was sec4 fashion parade which was quite cute hahah. Then then was the BEST PARTT! TEACHER BANDDDDD! :D :D :D Hahah MR TOH SANG! :) And Mr Ow! And DR SLATTER played guitar with Mr Nuh, Mr LARRY and Mr Segarra! :) I still havent figured if he was having a fender strat o.O Oh wells.. :) I think the whole world knows how awesomee I think Mr Toh's voice is from my posts hahah Sometimes I wonder if he's been here too (cos apparently he googles himself xD) WOOPS! I just have a tendency to gush about everything luhh People always take it the wrong way. I mean I gush about literally anything under the sun: RGS, guitars, michael jackson dance moves, philo, bio, bunnies... Okay I dont know where the last one came from. But see.. I dont have a crush on guitars philo bio and bunnies. So.. you make the links.. Seriously stop taking everything THAT way -.- it really annoys me ttm, even though I dont caree what they think. Ohwells.. Mr Toh was really amazing luh, sunglasses and all hahas. He has serious stage presence man, cos I mean he had the entire school population like in the palm of his hand for the like 10 minutes. The best part was the encore hahah. 'Mr Asmizar. Encore' It made me laugh my head off seriously! Reminded me soo much of philo last year. And two years down the road, I still think he should be the next Singapore Idol :) hahah honestly luh the teacher band was freakinggg amazing really! They put electrico to shame please :) Then again I'm mucho bias over here, can ya tell:) I mean where else do you find such AWESOME teachers who play gigs for the entire school population. <3 I do hope someone took photos and videos! Im sure they did luh cos I saw lots of cameras. it was like some rock concert only there was no stagelights and the science lab block right behind them hahah. But great use of space to whoever organised it! I just knew something was up when I walked into school to see all the pretty amps and guitars lying around.

Hahaha okay enough gushing, there was also best dressed and Vicky got 3rd placee! :D hahah Love ya vicky! :) Aasiriyai's birthday thing was so funn! Even though I was only there for tenminutes D: hahah She was so sweet asking for A1s for all our O levels :) And there was philo CES after school too. Which reminded me so much of how much I missed philo! Cos fallacies was pretty straight and I missed the getting confused part! hahah

Ohjeez there's so much more I wanna say D: I have 3 majorr papers on Tuesday, Bio English and Math so Im chionging those. Decided to breathe a bit before intense chionging. Seriously if I dont do well this bio paper, I'd gladly get Mr De Souza to kill me ._.

Anyways to end off, I just wanna say a huge thankyou to rgge for making my life complete all these times. I didnt ever believe in becoming vchair of guitar but its so surreal now that its happened. This is what I put on fb:

Hello yall! You know I never really believed in the possibility of me becoming a chair in guitar. and the prospect is freaking me out every moment in time now.. But still I wanna give a hugeee shoutout to all the sweet, awesomee people at EXCO 08/09 esp the graduating seniors of 09. Love yall so muchh! :)

To Zhen Ling, Anna and April, Chairs '08/09:
You guys are the awesomest chairs ever! It was soo much fun working with yall. Thank yall so much for all that you guys did for us and for the little notes and gifts esp during SYF season.

Zhen, I always admired how level-headed you were all the time(and that's FAR CRY for me with all the wild hand gestures and expressions, what not :P). It really did break my heart when you broke down post-SYFresults but I knew it was cos you care and it really made me wanna do something for guitar. Thanks for seeing us through it all :)

April, I'll never get over your cuteness! Hahahah your expressions are DAMN cute. Lol I always looked to you as someone who could handle everything in perfectly CUTE poise. Hahah Thanks for all the help esp during guitar camp :) I think cute is being overused here seriously.

Anna, you'll always be close to my heart esp cos you're a BASSIST :D Cbass FTWW! Thanks for being the awesomest, supportive senior. And thanks for enduring all my nonsense and letting me cry to you on one of my lousy emo days :) You rock! Love ya loads! :)Thanks for everything! :)

To Wen Yan:

Heyloo Wen Yan! Hahah I always thought you were the perfect balance between cuckoo!, cute and caring. Thanks for being the awesome person you are and for all the enthuness, and all the cute songs and lame jokes and all. (Okay I think at this point in time, its traumatising that I'm running around calling everything cute. My apologies hahah) I'll miss the "Pink" song even if I roll my eyes at you everytime you sing it. Hahah but I'll miss you more! ;'(

To Maggie:

Heyy Maggie! Seriously I have NO clue, how you can actually keep track of everything, MCs parents letter and all and keep so chilled and level headed all at the same time! I'm like slowing sinking into Register list phobia being bio rep hahhah. I'd never forget all the fun times we had at exco meeting with the s-EXCO joke and all.. honestly, i've always wondered, it didnt go in the minutes right? ms seah didnt kill us yet and im quite alive so maybe not luh huh. You're a really sweet personality. Thanks for keeping us sane!

To Liting:

Hello! I think you're one o the sweetest people around in EXCO. I still have the pretty keychain from richard house capt last year :) hahah randomness. And I have the screen shot of SYF photos where your pretty face is magnified. Hahah. Thanks for all the sweetness, encouragement and pro make-up skills. :)

To Priya:

Oh mans Priyaa I've no idea how strange its gonna be without you around.. And I don't talk like mr ____ okayyy.. You are not gonna say anything about my existence to him kayss hahah. Thanks for being the gossip service provide :P How's frisbee guy ah, any news? okayokay sorry dont kill me D: Thanks for being the confidante I can cry to, on all my emo-drama days like concert last year goshh. Love ya loads!

To Maddy:

Hello my darling fellow SI! Only the two of us know how much we suffer on Tuesday evenings and how many awkward moments we both have 'teaching' Mr Chua hahahh. Kudos to you being secretary and dont ever ever feel afraid of speaking up. You deserve to be up there. :D

To Michelle, Alagu and Cheng Jing:

Eh I'm dammnn sad yall didnt get into EXCO lehhhh.. I REALLY REALLY AM!! D: D: D: D: Now there's only 2 bassists in EXCO :( I'll really really miss yall and the wackiness from Michelle and one-liners from CJ :(
Cheng Jing, BEST OF LUCK FOR WADDLE CAPT! I LOVE YOU! Thanks for being all nice to me.. Catch phrase of the season from you to me : Abi, don't cry! hahahahh Love ya loads CJ; KEEP SMILING (i know you will hahah)
Michelleee!! Thanks so much for being your wackyy cute little self! Alagu, hahah it was so much fun talking to you on the bus today! okay random hahah. Man I miss writing you letters like in Sec 1 :( You and Alagu've been the AWESOMEST JUNIORS I'VE EVER HAD. You know I still keep all your little letters and postcards and manicure set (I used it okayy! hahah). I love yall so so much and best of luck in whatever you may do :)

To Exco 2009:
It was such a blast working with yall this year. All the jokes like the s-EXCO one and the hard work for guitar camp and syf and everything.. Thanks for letting me have this chance to work with yall. I love you!

Last, but definitely not the least, to Rachel Yo, our newest chair 2010 <3:

You must be happy okay, I sense you're gonna get the longest post here :P That day I felt like telling you.. Adam Lambert may not have won American Idol, but he sure won RGGE Elections :P
Man I still remember the first time when we met (okay this is starting to sound to sound all boy-meets-girl, dont worry yall, we just idolise Adam Lambert, no plans to follow the sexuality ;) ) and we were so crazy talking about MCR and I remember how we played Wake Me Up When September Ends together. And how we promised we'd never quit guitar as long as either of us were around. And all that supeer CHEESY stuff HAHAH. And you know I actually told myself that if you weren't gonna be in EXCO, I'd decline the post no matter what it was. But YAY, you ARE :D hahah. Sounds funny now that I say it luh but still (like the I miss you thing hahahah) But anyhows, I am Sooo proud of you for make that cute lil (okay not so lil considering it was like what 2 pages! with like random building layout things on the back!) speech you made and blew us all away with your sincerity. You totally deserve what you got and I'm so glad I'm getting this chance to work with you. Next year's gonnabe a BLAST - we guarantee :P Eh honestly speaking right, I've NO idea how we're gonna chair a meeting without bursting into laughter every 5 secs like we do in reality. Seriously. Thats something we never thought of >< hahahah. Ohwells, you tape yours or I'll tape mine.. mouth I mean. :) And I just realised we cannot jam anymore! Besides break luh huh. Cos now there's no one to remind us to stop jamming D: D: D: ohmans I'm getting very freaked out at the prospect now itself.

To EXCO'10: I really look forward to working with yall. Dont think this is propaganda luh Im just being my emo lame self :) Wells, Rachel and Me guarantee you a fun ride ahead and we'll try our best not to turn rgge into a full-fledged Adam Lambert fan club :P Love yall loads! :)

This is my current desktop wallpaper hahah. Credits to xin min :)

"We can go higher we can go deeper
There are no boundaries
Above and beneath you
Break every rule cos
There's nothing between you and your dreams..."

2009-04-26T12:48:00.002+08:00

Wow haven't blogged in months. Well a few months. I havent got any timeee on my hands mann.. Its freaking killing me. And I'm not even supposed to be blogging right now. Im researching Jean-Jacques Rosseau :P But I really have this sudden surge of emotion and I really can't take it anymore... I mean a lot of things have been happening and tomorrow's SYF and I really really need focus, there's no one I can vent all this to so why not do it publicly hahah Im sure.. So here goes. Dont take this post personally at all please.. Its just ranting trust me.

BIO SPAAAAAAAAAA

Okay seriously, Bio is my favourite Science (for the subject please not any other reason.) Its the only science that I actually get considering that my physics is atrocious and sometimes I dont see why im taking it. And philo hasnt started so obviously Bio is my number one priority when assessments come around. So I put my heart and soul into mugging for the darn subject and every single time, I know whats going on but I just cant put it on paper. And even if I can, I cant do it within the damn duration of the paper.. And SPA WAS TERRIBLEE. No words can ever say how awful I felt about the paper. I think its the first time in the history of my life that I felt so terrible about a paper. Its worse than philo and its really haunting me. I think its some kind of curse, everytime Im subject rep I'd do really badly or something.. Cos its been repeating itself for Physics, Philo and now Bio. Goshh and I really dont understand HOW ON EARTH I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS _______________ (not gonna say it just in case someone finds answers from reading this post hahah). Now that I think about it, its so bloody straightforward. But then again I've been thinking about it for 96 hours now.. compared with the 45 mins given during SPA.. BUT I REALLY DONT KNOW WHATS WRONG WITH ME.. AND I GOT SO BLOODY EMOTIONAL AND STRESSED AND GOD KNOWS WHAT ELSE and itss still haunting me terribly. Mr De Souza, you can just go ahead and kill me. (And whutttt does he say? Smile dont look so stressed) And all the niceness is just making it worse cos I wonder why I cant live up to expectations every time.. I dont know wth is going to happen to my GPA. And I really dont know what to do, its like everytime I want to give it all I got, I get in there and I screw it all up, cry, talk to someone, feel slightly better, and the cycle repeats itself. Mann I am so NOT going to let that happen again. I am so going to change that bloody cycle and prove to the world that I can do this. At least Im glad next one is PT, that'll definitely definitely pull my GPA up, Im 100% assured of it. I know Im trying desperately to sound ego and failing but whateverr.. When the next PPA comes around, thankgod no more practical, I am so going to ACE it mann..

I'm realy running short of time so I'll just go ahead and talk about syf. Rgge has come such a long way since that fateful day when zhen and the sec4s started talking about our syf and a miracle started happening. The sudden surge of excitement that we get with every note makes me want to cry thinking that no matter what happens we've got that passion that we are rgge no matter what happens tomorrow. I've never loved like I loved you today honest and I know I always will. All the way rgge!